


Captives

by bloodyfandom



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-30
Updated: 2013-07-30
Packaged: 2017-12-21 20:45:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 27
Words: 24,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/904733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodyfandom/pseuds/bloodyfandom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gibbs and Tony are held captive by a group of criminals.<br/>“I dunno, Gibbs. Not sure either of us is getting out of this one.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Waking In The Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: The author is EVIL. Seriously. Non-con (aka rape), torture, kink, violence, graphic descriptions of all of the above and language. A bit OOC in some places.
> 
> Author's Notes: This is essentially the exact opposite of everything that Waysides was. It is dark and disturbing and I feel like I should apologise for even having thought it up in the first place. Also, it's unbetad so any mistakes and terribleness is entirely my own fault.

They wake up in the dark, bodies aching and shivering in the chilled air. Gibbs wakes last; rolls towards the sound of Tony groaning and reaches out with fingers clumsy from cold and pain. He might have a concussion. He feels dizzy and weak but his first priority is checking on Tony.  
  
“DiNozzo…”  
  
“Boss,” Tony gasps, “Been shot.”  
  
“Where?”  
  
“Right side…just above my hip,” Tony makes a muffled noise and when he speaks again his voice is a little high, “Been trying to keep pressure on it.”  
  
Gibbs finds Tony’s left arm and reaches over and under him to feel for an exit wound. He kneels up as much as he can, feeling wobbly at best, and applies pressure.  
  
“God,” Tony whimpers.  
  
“Sorry,” Gibbs mutters, “It went clean through, anyway.”  
  
“I know,” Tony grinds out  
  
“They take everything?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“You sure?”  
  
“ _Yes_ , I checked.”  
  
Gibbs presses his lips together in a grim line. That wasn’t good. No phones, no guns, no knives - nothing to patch Tony up with. Tony’s clothes were soaked with blood and the stain crunched around the edges where the blood had been given time to dry. That worried Gibbs as well. The bleeding felt sluggish under his hands and he wasn’t optimistic enough to believe that it wasn’t because Tony had lost far too much blood.  
  
“I’m gonna get us out of this.”  
  
Tony reaches up with a trembling hand and squeezes Gibbs’ shoulder.  
  
“It’s ok, Boss.”  
  
“Don’t placate me, DiNozzo and don’t you _dare_ give up.”  
  
“I’m not, Boss,” Tony sounds too distant, too tired, “Just being realistic.”  
  
His gut clenches and he swallows around the lump in his throat.  
  
“Tony…”  
  
“I’m fighting it,” Tony breathes, “Christ, what more do you want?”  
  
“Can’t…don’t wanna have to put you in the ground too.”  
  
Tony’s hand moves up to the back of Gibbs’ head and Gibbs sucks in a sharp breath of pain. Tony pats Gibbs’ cheek, fingers sticky with blood.  
  
“I dunno, Gibbs. Not sure either of us is getting out of this one.”


	2. Left Behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the first time in a long time he prays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: The author is EVIL. Seriously. Non-con (aka rape), torture, kink, violence, graphic descriptions of all of the above and language. Character Death. A bit OOC in some places.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been kneeling there. He catches himself dozing off a few times and Tony chuckles at him, still finding humor where he shouldn’t be able to.  
  
“We’re so screwed,” Tony groans, voice soft and strained.  
  
“Shut up, DiNozzo,” Gibbs growls.  
  
“Aw, come on, Boss. Of all the times we could have or should have died this is how we’re gonna go? It’s not even exciting.”  
  
“You want me to find out if they could blow us up instead?”  
  
“At least we’d go out in a blaze of glory.”  
  
Gibbs rolls his eyes and grumbles, “Shut _up_ , DiNozzo.”  
  
“Right, I should be focusing all of my energy on not dying, shouldn’t I?”  
  
“Ya think?”  
  
Tony’s silence doesn’t make him feel any better.  
  
The door flies open and a strong light is shown in; Gibbs flings a hand up to shield his eyes.  
  
“He’s lost a lot of blood,” he says, tamping down his rage, “he needs help.”  
  
There’s no answer.  
  
Gibbs swallows every ounce of his pride, still blinking against the light, “Please. Please, help him.”  
  
There’s a long stretch of silence.  
  
“Up against the back wall, Agent Gibbs. If you move we shoot him.”  
  
Gibbs nods and squeezes Tony’s shoulder, seeing for the first time how pale and bloody Tony is.  
  
“You’re gonna be ok, Tony,” he says, pressing his back to the rough wood of the shed.  
  
He watches anxiously – he’s pale too, blood on his cheek where Tony had patted him – eyes squinting against the light as shadows move in and lift Tony up, carrying him away.  
  
“Don’t let him die,” Gibbs says to the shadow in the doorway.  
  
“…we’ll do our best,” the faceless person promises.  
  
There’s a cardboard box and some buckets left in Tony’s place; the box contains a jug with water, rags, soap, newspaper, food and some first aid supplies. One bucket has water and the other is empty. He cleans up as best he can, bandaging his head with still shaking hands. The bathroom bucket – because that’s what the empty one is for – goes in the far corner with the newspaper. The bucket with the water he places not far from that with the soap and rags. He tries to sip at the drinking water but ends up chugging down half the jug, biting his lip as he screws the cap back on. He’s not hungry but he still nibbles on a granola bar – Abby would be proud.  
  
He stares at the now empty box.  
  
It’s thick cardboard, strong. He dismantles it and lays it out like a mat on the floor – better than sleeping in the dirt – and lies down.  
  
For a few hours he dozes fitfully and then jerks awake.  
  
The locks on the door click open and Gibbs stands, pressing his back to the wall.  
  
There are no bright lights this time and Gibbs bites back the snarl when he sees their perp, Robinson, standing in the doorway. He’s got a gun trained on Gibbs but he looks…  
  
“No…” Gibbs shakes his head.  
  
Robinson looks at him with pity and Gibbs’ heart trips.  
  
“Agent Gibbs, I…”  
  
“I got his heart started!” a woman screams, “Get back in here!”  
  
The door slams shut, locks clicking back into place and Gibbs sags down to the floor, clenching his eyes shut.  
  
For the first time in a long time he prays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I didn't say he was going to STAY dead.


	3. No Longer Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey,” Gibbs chokes out, “Thanks for not dying.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: The author is EVIL. Seriously. Non-con (aka rape), torture, kink, violence, graphic descriptions of all of the above and language. A bit OOC in some places.

Light comes up over the window sill – the window is covered in bars but it opens, letting in a cool breeze – and Gibbs sits on his makeshift bed, watching dust motes dancing in the early morning sun.  
  
He doesn’t really believe in anything anymore but every once in a while he sends a prayer up, begging whoever will listen to please keep Tony alive.  
  
The whole day is spent that way, worrying and praying until night falls and trying to sleep is better than being awake.  
  
It’s late afternoon the next day, the light fading quickly, before they bring Tony back. Gibbs stands, watching, unable to tear his eyes away. It’s the woman, wearing a mask and studiously avoiding Gibbs’ gaze, who lays out a real mat for them to sleep on and then helps Tony down onto it. She hangs the IV bag from a bent nail in the wall, carefully inserting it into the line already in Tony’s arm before heaping blankets on top of him.  
  
“Make sure he stays warm,” she says gruffly as she checks Tony’s vitals.  
  
“Thanks,” Robinson says as she leaves.  
  
“I spent all that time keeping him from dying you better make sure he _stays_ alive,” she snaps.  
  
“I will.”  
  
Gibbs feels some of the anxiety leave him. Tony’s color is better and he looks like he’s on the good drugs.  
  
“Hey, Boss,” he whispers.  
  
“Hey,” Gibbs chokes out, “Thanks for not dying.”  
  
“I figured you’d be really bored in here by yourself,” Tony grins, looking a little loopy.  
  
“I’ll bring more food later,” Robinson says, shutting and locking the door.  
  
He practically collapses, crawling over to Tony’s side and looking at the bandages, the neat stitching.  
  
“They did good.”  
  
“Yeah…the doctor says I’ll be ok.”  
  
“That’s good,” Gibbs nods, patting Tony’s arm.  
  
Tony reaches up and pokes the bandages on Gibbs’ head.  
  
“Did a terrible job with that.”  
  
“You can fix it later. For now get some rest.”  
  
Tony’s wearing clean sweats that are far too wide for his frame. It’s a little comical but Gibbs decides it’ll be something good to tease Tony with later when he’s in pain again.  
  
Despite everything he doubts Robinson is going to keep Tony completely pain free – he’s the one who shot him in the first place.  
  
“You should get some rest too, Boss. Maybe close that window,” he gestures, “and we can have a slumber party. I heard them saying it was supposed to get really cold tonight.”  
  
Gibbs smiles; even hopped up on painkillers, even having nearly died, _again_ – Gibbs clamps down on the pain of that thought – Tony is still observant.  
  
“Alright. You hungry? She say you could eat?”  
  
“They fed me already, I’m ok. How about you?”  
  
“I’m fine,” Gibbs mutters as he struggles with the window.  
  
God, he’s feeling kitten weak. Maybe he should let Tony take a look at his aching skull – it still feels cracked open. If it gets infected he can’t be sure Robinson will call his doctor friend back.  
  
“Think you could look at my head?” Gibbs pulls out some disinfectant, ointment and clean bandages from the bag of first aid supplies.  
  
Tony waves him closer with an annoyed look on his face, saying without words that Gibbs is a stubborn idiot for waiting _this_ long.  
  
“C’mere,” Tony grumbles.  
  
Despite himself, Gibbs chuckles and helps Tony lean up against the wall.  
  
“Son-of-a…” Tony growls as he pulls the bandages away, “did you do this yourself?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“They couldn’t even…I _asked_ them to…god _damnit_.”  
  
Tony’s hands are surprisingly steady as he cleans the gash on the back of Gibbs’ head.

  
“It’ll be fine,” Gibbs sighs.  
  
“There wasn’t any penicillin in there by any chance?” Tony asks, not seeming hopeful.  
  
“Nope.”  
  
“Damn.”  
  
“Look infected?”  
  
“Maybe?”  
  
“Does or doesn’t,” Gibbs snaps.  
  
“Damnit, Jim, I’m a Special Agent not a doctor.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“I’m not a doctor, Gibbs! I don’t know!” Tony snaps back, sounding a little worried.  
  
Gibbs winces and mumbles, “Damnit.”  
  
“Sorry,” Tony sighs, “…I think it’s infected. I’m…this is really gonna hurt.”  
  
“What…ow! Son-of-a-fucking- _bitch_ ,” Gibbs clenches his fists and struggles not to jerk away, keeping his head bent.  
  
“Sorry, sorry,” Tony grumbles, screwing the cap on the peroxide with one hand and holding the rag in place to keep the excess from dripping down Gibbs’ neck with the other.  
  
“ _Shit_ , Tony…warn a guy next time!”  
  
“I’m sorry, ok? Jesus,” Tony dabs at it, “Not like it would have hurt less.”  
  
He smears the ointment on liberally and winds the fresh bandage around Gibbs’ head.  
  
“It’s starting to get cold,” Tony observes, putting a hand over his own injury and wincing.  
  
Gibbs looks him over and helps him lie back down, arranging them both under the blankets.  
  
“We’re seriously screwed.”  
  
“Tony…Christ, shut up already.”  
  
“Sorry.”  
  
“And quit apologizing. None of this is your fault.”  
  
“Isn’t it?”  
  
“You couldn’t have known…”  
  
“Fine, Boss,” Tony interrupts, “Let’s…let’s just get some sleep.”  
  
They wake up curled around each other in the early morning light and Gibbs is shivering but it’s not from the cold.


	4. Fever Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I think you’re hysterical, Gibbs.”  
> “That was pretty funny.”  
> “No, as in I think you’ve lost your mind, that kind of hysterical.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: The author is EVIL. Seriously. Non-con (aka rape), torture, kink, violence, graphic descriptions of all of the above and language. A bit OOC in some places.

Tony becomes the center of the universe.  
  
He’s the only thing Gibbs can focus on in the haziness. The world is dark around the edges and Tony is his constant, the sun and moon. His worried face is always near, always smiling and talking though Gibbs can’t focus on what’s being said.  
  
He cries out when too cold water is sluiced over his burning skin. It’s painful but Tony’s there, soothing, talking, touching. Tony’s skin feels like ice against his and he can’t decide whether he wants to shrink away from the touch or move into it.  
  
Everything blends together, there’s no night or day, just endless merged moments of shaking, aching misery. Tony holds him, begs him to stay but Gibbs isn’t sure where he would go. He tries to speak but his throat is raw and swollen.  
  
The fever breaks one morning and Tony presses their foreheads together, sighing with relief.  
  
There’s nothing when he opens his eyes.  
  
All is darkness.  
  
“Tony?” Gibbs rasps.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
Tony sounds tired, haggard. Gibbs turns his face towards Tony’s voice.  
  
“…is it night?”  
  
“What? No…”  
  
Gibbs blinks and lies still, “I can’t see.”  
  
“…what?”  
  
“I can’t see,” Gibbs repeats, feeling an edge of panic.  
  
“I…”  
  
Tony says nothing else for a time, pulling Gibbs a little closer in their nest of blankets. Gibbs can feel the cold now and curls into Tony’s warmth.  
  
“It must have been the fever,” Tony says, voice wavering, “I’m sorry, Gibbs, I tried to keep it down…”  
  
“Not your fault.”  
  
“It’s my fault we’re here so it’s my fault this happened,” Tony snaps back.  
  
“God…fucking, Christ, just shut up, DiNozzo!”  
  
The bark loses its effectiveness when his voice breaks and Gibbs presses his face into the juncture of Tony’s shoulder and neck, breathing deeply to regain his control.  
  
“It’s not your fault, Tony,” he insists, “if it was I wouldn’t let you be my pillow.”  
  
His lips quirk up despite the fear and despair roiling inside of him.  
  
“I think you’re hysterical, Gibbs.”  
  
“That was pretty funny.”  
  
“No, as in I think you’ve lost your mind, that kind of hysterical.”  
  
“Probably right,” Gibbs admits, not moving out of the cocoon of Tony’s arms.  
  
In a gesture that’s terrifyingly intimate, Tony pulls back and kisses Gibbs’ eyelids.  
  
“Kissing my boo-boos better, DiNozzo?”  
  
“Figured it couldn’t hurt to try,” Tony says thickly.  
  
Tony pulls him close again.  
  
“How many days?” Gibbs rasps.  
  
“Almost a week.”  
  
Gibbs tightens his grip, still feeling weak. Tony took care of Gibbs while he was recovering from his own injuries, probably not giving himself the rest he needed.  
  
Wishing he could look Tony in the eye, Gibbs rumbles, “Thanks."  
  
“Thanks to you too.”  
  
“For what?”  
  
“For not dying,” Tony chokes out.  
  
They settle more comfortably on the mat and Gibbs finds he’s tired again. He struggles to stay awake but sleep pulls at him insistently.  
  
“It’s ok, Boss,” Tony says softly, “I’ve got your back.”


	5. Only My Hands To Guide Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The darkness is bleak and strange, so totally black, unlike anything he’s ever known.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: The author is EVIL. Seriously. Non-con (aka rape), torture, kink, violence, graphic descriptions of all of the above and language. A bit OOC in some places.

Gibbs wakes hazily, blinking fiercely until he remembers. Tony’s close but not clinging to him and Gibbs manages to get up, stumbling forward until he hits the door, moving to the side until he finds the bathroom bucket and relieves himself.  
  
The darkness is bleak and strange, so totally black, unlike anything he’s ever known.  
  
“Newspaper’s to the left,” Tony says casually.  
  
“Thanks,” Gibbs mutters.  
  
He nearly knocks over the water bucket, leaning down to sniff at the water and winces.  
  
“Not very clean anymore, Boss,” Tony’s voice is apologetic but not pitying.  
  
“They forget about us?”  
  
“Robinson brought some food and fresh water a day or two ago. Otherwise we’ve been on our own.”  
  
The cold is getting to him and he reaches out with fumbling hands until he nearly trips over the mat, kneeling down until he finds Tony and presses close. Tony arranges the blankets over them and casually finds Gibbs’ hand, gripping it hard.  
  
“DiNozzo…”  
  
“Just shut up, ok?” Tony grinds out.  
  
A day later, just as the bathroom bucket is about to be overfull and the water is about to run out, Robinson returns. He brings in jug after jug of water, boxes of first aid and food, clean water for washing and a bigger bathroom bucket.  
  
For a moment Tony almost loves him but then feels wary. This might just mean he plans on leaving them alone longer this time. They can’t fall into a false sense of security.  
  
“Um…” Tony licks at his dry lips, trying not to wake Gibbs.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“He’s blind,” Tony manages, “From the fever.”  
  
Robinson looks down at Gibbs with what would appear to be regret and pity.  
  
“I’m really sorry.”  
  
He sets down a final box with fresh clothes, rags and blankets.  
  
“Leave the dirty stuff by the door.”  
  
“How long before you’ll be back?”  
  
“A few days. No more than three,” Robinson steps in a little farther, eyes sincere, “I’m really, really sorry.”  
  
“If you’re really sorry you’ll let me get him to a hospital.”  
  
Robinson shakes his head, “I can’t. I’m sorry.”  
  
The door shuts and Tony tightens his arm around Gibbs.  
  
“Sorry, Boss. I tried.”  
  
Gibbs smirks, not surprised that Tony could tell he’d woken up.  
  
“At least you tried.”  
  
They get cleaned up and changed, changing their bandages. Tony groans as he scrubs at his dirty skin vigorously.  
  
“When we get out of here,” he grins, teeth chattering slightly from the cold, Gibbs can tell even without being able to see it, “I’m spending a week in a bathtub up to my ears in bubbles. I don’t care if that’s not manly.”  
  
“Might do the same thing myself,” Gibbs snorts.  
  
“Um…seeing as how I had to change your clothes when you um…it would be uh…significantly less weird to ask you to wash my back, right?”  
  
“You could’ve just _asked_ ,” Gibbs says with his usual ire, “Don’t really wanna think about the details of you playing at nursemaid for me while I was out of my head.”  
  
“Sorry. Pretty much everything is weird right now and I don’t really want to think about it either but it’s sort of hard to stop.”  
  
“Shut up and turn around, DiNozzo,” Gibbs grunts, reaching out until he finds Tony’s shoulder.  
  
“Right, Boss.”  
  
\--  
  
Gibbs has Tony dig a small hole under their mat, stashing food in it.  
  
He’s not sure if he’s glad when Tony  doesn’t ask why. He doesn’t want to have to explain but on the other hand it means Tony understands how bad their situation is. And if he doesn’t have to explain and Tony isn’t arguing about why, then the situation looks exactly as bleak as he thinks it does - which is possibly the worst thought of them all.   
  
Because if they both think it looks bad, then it most definitely is.


	6. No Shelter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know really it’s actually not all that bad…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: The author is EVIL. Seriously. Non-con (aka rape), torture, kink, violence, graphic descriptions of all of the above and language. A bit OOC in some places.

“Hey, guys,” Tony grins at the bright light, “I’d like to lodge a complaint with management. The accommodations are _terrible_.”  
  
“Well, guess that answers that, Rob.”  
  
Robinson sighs, “Come on, DiNozzo.”  
  
Tony’s smile fades and he swallows, “What?”  
  
“Come on, we don’t have all night.”  
  
“You know really it’s actually not all that bad…”  
  
“I don’t want to shoot you again but I will if you don’t get a move on,” Robinson says flatly.  
  
Tony nods, moving forward, “We going for a walk?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“You’ll be ok, DiNozzo,” Gibbs says firmly, glaring in the general direction of the doorway.  
  
It’s morning before they bring Tony back, limping and looking pale. He carefully lowers himself onto the mat and curls up. Robinson stands in the doorway looking apologetic.  
  
“We need more first aid stuff,” Gibbs grinds out through gritted teeth, not moving from his place against the wall.  
  
“I’ll see what I can do.”  
  
As soon as the door shuts Gibbs kneels at Tony’s side, trying to get him to sit up or stretch out so Gibbs can check him over.  
  
“I’ll be ok,” Tony grunts.  
  
“Let me be the judge of that.”  
  
Tony grimaces as he sprawls out, letting out a muffled noise of pain.  
  
“Ribs?”  
  
“No,” Tony bites out.  
  
“Just…” Gibbs runs his fingers through his hair, feeling helpless, “what did they do?”  
  
“I’ll be fine, Gibbs.”  
  
“Will you just tell me?” Gibbs half shouts, frustration at not being able to see for himself bordering on overwhelming.  
  
“They took turns knocking me around. Mostly in the stomach and the kidneys, a couple shots to the face. I’ll be fine.”  
  
“Is that all?”  
  
“Yeah,” Tony says softly, curling up again.  
  
“Tony…” Gibbs tries, not believing him.  
  
“Just let me sleep, Gibbs.”  
  
Gibbs puts himself between Tony and the door, his body an ineffective shield against whatever new horror will find them in the dark.


	7. Quietly Sinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gibbs gets angry with Tony for protecting him, gets angry with himself for letting Tony do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: The author is EVIL. Seriously. Non-con (aka rape), torture, kink, violence, graphic descriptions of all of the above and language. A bit OOC in some places.

He lays his head on Tony’s chest and reaches up a hand, playing with Tony’s hair, twirling his fingers in the long, shaggy strands the way a child might do. It’s soothing, sensory input that ceases the endless, tumultuous grinding of gears in his brain.   
  
Tony loves to be touched, he’s always known that. It doesn’t surprise him that Tony relaxes under those gentle ministrations, that he brings his hands up to stroke Gibbs’ hair in return, resting the other on Gibbs’ arm.  
  
Sometimes they lay that way for hours, other times Tony will talk to fill the time. He’ll recount his favorite movies, doing his dead-on impersonations and Gibbs is too tired and broken to pretend he doesn’t find it amusing anymore.  
  
There are times - with his eyes closed and Tony’s hands on him and Tony’s grinning voice in his ear – that he can fool himself into thinking they’re not here. They’re home; maybe in Gibbs’ bed - though some part of him says that if it weren’t for this there would never have been a time he would have allowed that - and he’s laughing with Tony, he’s comfortable, warm and clean. He’s safe and all he has to do is open his eyes and he’ll be there.  
  
But then he makes the mistake of opening his eyes and there’s only the abysmal darkness.  
  
They always wake up with the click of the first deadbolt, eyes going wide, scrambling apart and pressing their backs to the cold, splintering wall. Gibbs holds on to Tony until the last padlock snicks open and then he clenches his fists at his own side, scowling fiercely in the general direction of the door. He doesn’t know that there’s anything intimidating about an angry blind man but all he needs is one word from Tony (or for Tony to not return…a thought that chokes him) and he’ll snap the nearest neck.  
  
He pictures that moment in his head when they open the door, his lips curling into a menacing sneer. Tony will only say his name a certain way and then there will be the satisfying crunch of bone in his ears.  
  
Tony provokes them every time and Gibbs can only stand there, staring blindly into the dark that has become his world as they haul Tony off for more torment and torture.  
  
Without Tony there his world is without color and light. There are no flashes of Technicolor memory; there is no laughter or comfort. Everything is black, cold, rough, harsh and he…he is alone.  
  
Gibbs gets angry with Tony for protecting him, gets angry with himself for letting Tony do it.  
  
Sometimes when Tony thinks Gibbs is sleeping he quietly cries and Gibbs has to struggle not to tighten his grip, or move, or change his breathing.  
  
If Tony needs that small moment of privacy Gibbs can at least give him that.


	8. Losing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Routines make up their days. It’s something to cling to in the cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: The author is EVIL. Seriously. Non-con (aka rape), torture, kink, violence, graphic descriptions of all of the above and language. A bit OOC in some places.

Sometimes he becomes one with the darkness, sitting in the oppressive silence. It fills his soul and his mind until he’s not there anymore.  
  
Then Tony comes back, making noises of pain, skirting touches like flashes of color and light. He listens to Tony’s heartbeat, kisses at the heated skin where bruises will form, sucks on Tony’s trembling fingers and touches the wetness on his cheeks until he settles.  
  
Their routines are strange and without sense but the desperation makes them complacent to weirdness. Tony doesn’t question how Gibbs’ wet mouth sucking at his fingers soothes him or how Gibbs’ fingers in his hair, twirling softly, makes him feel safe. Gibbs doesn’t question why he tries things, giving in to mad urges as they take him.  
  
Routines make up their days. It’s something to cling to in the cold.  
  
Right now Gibbs is leaning against the wall, waiting for them to bring Tony back. His fingers seek out sense, trying to create reason with the maddening silence. Sometimes he touches the things around him, making a mental map of what’s where. Sometimes he touches himself, fingers tracing over the lines in his face or tangling in his own hair - so much longer than it’s ever been. He bites his nails short because having them long and catching is annoying. He picks and rips at his toenails because he’s not nearly limber enough to bite at those. Tony would find that funny, he thinks with a smirk.  
  
Sometimes he’ll sign to himself, thinking out loud with his hands.  
  
Everything he is has always been tied up in his sight and he didn’t even know it. He’s an observant man, always watching, always aware and this loss has cut him deeply. It’s denied him an integral part of who he is and who he believes himself to be.  
  
Tonight he can’t stand it anymore. He rises and grabs the water bucket, emptying the dirty water out, opening the window and banging it against the bars.  
  
“Hey!” he screams, “Hey, you fucking sons-of-bitches!”  
  
He screams himself half-hoarse until someone finally comes out, barking at him to keep it down.  
  
“What’s the matter? Don’t you guys wanna play with me too?” Gibbs grins, “Getting kind of bored out here by myself.”  
  
The guy chuckles to himself disbelievingly.  
  
“I guess your boy didn’t tell you about the kind of games we play. You might not be so eager to join in.”  
  
Gibbs stumbles forward, reaching out until the guy grabs him roughly and hauls him out, shoving him in the direction of the house.  
  
“Hey guys. Agent Gibbs here wants to play.”  
  
“Gibbs!” Tony exclaims, “Please…please send him back to the shed, he can’t see…”  
  
The sharp sound of two hard slaps, to the face it sounds like, make Gibbs straighten.  
  
“Please,” Tony continues, breath ragged, “Please, just…take it easy on him, please? Don’t hurt him…”  
  
“Shut up!” someone growls.  
  
Then the distinct sound of flesh slapping against flesh and the wet sound of a mouth sucking on something makes Gibbs’ blood go cold.  
  
“Tony?” Gibbs chokes out.  
  
There’s a muffled noise, a whimper, a wordless plea.  
  
A voice in his ear, low and menacing, makes him jump.  
  
“Hope you’re ready to play.”  
  
He’s pushed face down onto the floor, hard hands holding him down. Gibbs struggles fiercely as his too loose sweats are pulled down and he feels something slick line up with his asshole and start pushing in.  
  
There’s an annoyed noise and Tony’s voice.  
  
“Gibbs, relax! It’ll hurt more if you…”  
  
Another slap and then Tony grunts with pain.  
  
“You pull off again before I’m finished and I’m gonna knock every single one of those pearly teeth out of your fucking head you stupid bitch!”  
  
Gibbs breathes deep and tries to relax, tries not to fight it too much because he knows that some pain isn’t worth it. It’s intense pressure, a sharp burn and Gibbs clenches his teeth, unable to stop the noise that wrenches out of him.  
  
It’s all made worse by the blindness. He wants to see Tony, to know what’s happening to him even if it hurts to see it. He wants to see the faces of the bastards doing this to him so he knows who to kill later.  
  
When the guy bottoms out Gibbs sucks in a harsh breath, voice ripping out of him in keening grunts.  
  
“Yeah,” the guy slaps Gibbs’ thigh, “God, he’s a fucking virgin.”  
  
“Fuck you!” Gibbs snaps out, pulling the hatred around him like armor.  
  
The guy starts thrusting into him brutally and Gibbs doesn’t quite manage to bite back the cry.  
  
“Naw, man,” the guy laughs, “Fuck you.”  
  
He’s hauled up onto his knees as the guy keeps fucking him and then there’s the spongy head of a dick pressed to his lips.  
  
“I’ll bite it off!” he snarls, trying to turn his head away, “Swear to fucking God I’ll bite it off!”  
  
The cold metal of a hammer is pressed to his cheek and the blood drains from his face as he goes still.  
  
“We could just knock out your teeth, old man. Makes it easier to blow somebody without ‘em. Your choice.”  
  
Gibbs’ brow furrows as he bites at his lower lip and then with a growling, groan of frustration he parts his lips. The dick is shoved into his mouth, too far, making him choke.  
  
“And remember to watch those teeth,” one of them says as the hammer is rubbed against his cheek again.  
  
He tries not to throw up as his mouth is fucked, the sloppy thrusts occasionally triggering his gag reflex. He can’t find purchase, he can’t tell how many of them there are, if maybe he and Tony could take them. There’s nothing to hold on to, no anchor. Gibbs feels lost, adrift at sea as his body is battered by the storm.  
  
The explosion of warmth in his mouth surprises him and he tries to pull back only to be held fast, forced to swallow. He grimaces when he’s finally released, spitting and wiping at his mouth. Then there’s heat in his ass and he’s tossed aside carelessly. For a moment as he struggles to catch his breath, to get a rein on the pain, the shame and the anger, he thinks that’s it. Then he’s being pushed onto his hands and knees, another dick driving into him.  
  
Tony’s making faint sounds of pain and discomfort that Gibbs can just make out over the rest of the noise and he hones in on that, focuses all of his attention on Tony rather than himself. It’s a small rock to cling to but it makes him feel steadier.  
  
When they’ve finished with them Tony moves over, pulling Gibbs up to his feet, putting his clothes to rights.  
  
“You ok?” he asks softly.  
  
“I…” Gibbs shakes his head, unable to find the words.  
  
Suddenly they’re wrenched apart and Gibbs stumbles along.  
  
“Tony!”  
  
“It’s ok, Gibbs!”  
  
He hears a grunt of pain and then he’s being pushed back out into the cold air, shoved back into that stinking fucking shed.  
  
Gibbs doesn’t dare sit down. He stands against the wall waiting for them to bring Tony back, signing restlessly just to give himself something to do. The pain in his ass, the ache of his jaw is nothing compared to his worry for Tony.  
  
When he hears the locks click open again he breathes a sigh of relief, biting his lip as he hears Tony stagger in.  
  
As soon as the door shuts he grabs him, feeling him over.  
  
“They…”  
  
“Yeah,” Tony slurs, “Said they wanted to ugly up the pretty boy.”  
  
They had shaved Tony’s head and beard. He was in different clothes, clean. His face was warm from where they’d slapped him around and just to be sure Gibbs checks Tony’s teeth, ignoring Tony’s protest at having Gibbs’ dirty fingers in his mouth.  
  
“Sorry,” Gibbs mutters.  
  
“Gibbs,” Tony growls, shaking the other man hard, “You fucking idiot, I could take it! I can take it! I don’t need you to always come to my fucking rescue!”  
  
Gibbs pulls him close and holds on to him tight as Tony trembles in his arms helplessly.  
  
“I didn’t want to watch them do that to you,” Tony says miserably.  
  
When the rage and ache subside Tony pulls away getting them water to rinse out their mouths, to drink before cleaning them up as best he can.  
  
Gibbs holds on to him a little tighter that night, smoothing his fingers over Tony’s bare scalp.  
  
“Bet you’re still handsome,” he says, doing his best to sound annoyed by the idea.  
  
Tony grumbles something that Gibbs doesn’t quite catch.  
  
“Could probably put a clown costume on you and you’d still manage to pull it off.”  
  
“You got some weird fetish or something?” Tony snaps.  
  
“Not for clowns. Might like being spanked though.”  
  
Tony snorts, “You would.”  
  
“You…”  
  
With another growl Tony jostles him roughly, “Shut up and go to sleep.”  
  
“You’re turning into me,” Gibbs smirks.  
  
“Thought you’d be happy about that.”  
  
“Nah. Always liked you the way you were.”  
  
That makes Tony pull him a little closer and Gibbs moves his fingers back to Tony’s head, stroking his scalp gently.  
  
“What do you want to dream about?” Gibbs asks quietly.  
  
“The beach. Warm…," Tony pauses, shaking his head, "hot. So hot it suffocates you. Clear, cool water and colorful, girly mixed drinks with little umbrellas in them.”  
  
“Sounds good.”  
  
Tony pulls the blankets up around them and eventually they fall asleep.


	9. Take Comfort Wherever You Can

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sorry I’m such a big wuss.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: The author is EVIL. Seriously. Non-con (aka rape), torture, kink, violence, graphic descriptions of all of the above and language. A bit OOC in some places.

With a grimace, Gibbs shifts uncomfortably, leaning against Tony, resting his head on Tony’s shoulder.  
  
“Why would anyone willingly get fucked?”  
  
Tony shrugs a little, jostling Gibbs who grunts with annoyance.  
  
“When you’re a willing participant and you use more lube it’s actually really nice.”  
  
Gibbs frowns, tilting his head back a little.  
  
“You’ve uh…?”  
  
“Slept with guys? Yeah, Boss.”  
  
“Didn’t know that.”  
  
Tony makes a noncommittal noise and takes Gibbs’ hand in his own.  
  
“Obviously you’ve never.”  
  
“Guys blow each other in the Corps, hand jobs, stuff like that. It’s just release though.”  
  
“Helping a buddy out?” Tony grins.  
  
“Yeah,” Gibbs shrugs.  
  
They shiver a little as the temperature drops a few degrees, night settling in.  
  
“Would you have done this with any of your buddies?” Tony asks softly, squeezing Gibbs’ fingers.  
  
“Might have,” Gibbs scoots a little closer, “Probably not.”  
  
“More manly back-slapping and less hand holding?”  
  
“Probably.”  
  
“Sorry I’m such a big wuss.”  
  
“Not a wuss,” Gibbs grumbles, “just…tactile.”  
  
“Needy and clingy…”  
  
“Not exactly complaining, am I?”  
  
Tony kisses the top of Gibbs’ head.  
  
“Yeah, I guess not.”  
  
\--  
  
It’s too much. He held on to it until they’d dumped him – face first, naked and shivering – onto the mat. As soon as the door shuts a strangled sob wrenches out of him. He presses his face into the blankets to muffle it, feeling Tony’s hands on him.  
  
They’d taken turns, making Tony watch and beg and plead for him the entire time. Half the night spent on his hands and knees in miserable, burning agony.  
  
He can’t stop the tears or the way he’s shaking or the weak, body wracking sobs.  
  
Tony’s stroking him, covering him up, pressing his face to Gibbs’ shoulder where Gibbs can feel Tony’s own hot tears of hopelessness and frustration.  
  
They hear the clicking of locks and Tony leans over Gibbs protectively.  
  
“God,” Gibbs chokes out, “Don’t…don’t let them…”  
  
“Shh…don’t give them the satisfaction,” Tony says firmly with a hint of steel.  
  
It helps and Gibbs swallows it down as much as he can, hiding his face in the blankets when he can’t make the tears or the shaking stop.  
  
Thankfully it’s only Robinson who brings them hot soup and some fresh first aid supplies. He kneels down at Gibbs’ side.  
  
“I got some painkillers. Prescription. One for now, one for later.”  
  
“Thanks,” Tony mutters without inflection, taking the pills from Robinson’s outstretched hand.  
  
He looks guilty beyond measure and leaves quickly, slamming the door shut behind him.  
  
Tony helps Gibbs roll onto his side, wincing at Gibbs’ cry of pain. He folds the other pill into a wrapper and tucks it into their food box after popping one into Gibbs’ mouth, holding a jug of water to his lips.  
  
“You should try to eat while it’s still hot. Who knows when we’ll get something warm again.”  
  
He props Gibbs up and helps him drink the soup, watching as the painkiller finally starts to take effect. When he thinks Gibbs is fully feeling its’ effects he lifts Gibbs’ leg to inspect him.  
  
“How bad?” Gibbs grinds out.  
  
“…you’re bleeding a little. Not much.”  
  
Tony reaches over for a clean rag and some water, cleaning him up carefully. He digs through their first aid and uses some ointment that looks promising, trying to ignore Gibbs’ hiss of pain when he presses an ointment covered finger up inside of him, both to spread the ointment and check for damage.  
  
“Doesn’t feel like there are any hemorrhoids and I think the tear is external.”  
  
“That matter?”  
  
“Internal is more dangerous. Sepsis.”  
  
“Right,” Gibbs winces, “Glad one of us knows what to worry about.”  
  
Tony pulls his finger out slowly.  
  
With a pained grin Gibbs mutters, “Maybe you can do that again some time under better circumstances.”  
  
Tony rolls his eyes, washing his hands.  
  
“Yeah, if we ever get out of here, Boss, we’ll take a nice vacation and I’ll show you how good anal sex _can_ be.”  
  
“Gonna hold you to that.”  
  
\--  
  
Gibbs holds Tony close, humming softly in his ear. Tony’s in too much pain to lie down fully so they’re propped up against the wall, Gibbs using his body to provide as much cushion and support as possible.  
  
“You gonna sing me to sleep?” Tony smiles weakly, body aching from cold and abuse.  
  
“Anybody ever sing you to sleep before?” Gibbs asks.  
  
There’s a moment where he thinks Tony isn’t going to answer and then the other man sighs, sinking further into Gibbs’ warmth.  
  
“No. Not that I can remember.”  
  
Gibbs pulls Tony a little closer and begins rocking them faintly. He murmurs a half-remembered lullaby, singing soft and low, humming where he’s forgotten the words.  
  
Eventually he registers Tony’s soft snores and kisses his forehead.  
  
Without much hope that it will be true, Gibbs whispers, “Sweet dreams.”


	10. Attempted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I think we should try to make a run for it tonight,” Tony whispers in his ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: The author is EVIL. Seriously. Non-con (aka rape), torture, kink, violence, graphic descriptions of all of the above and language. A bit OOC in some places.

Gibbs reaches his hand through the window, through the bars and fumbles with the bolts. They’re probably too tight to unscrew by hand but if he could find something to pry at them with…  
  
Pain sears up his arm and he yanks his hand back, exclaiming with surprise. Gibbs cradles his bloodied knuckles and Robinson taps the bars with a stick.  
  
“If I catch you at that again I’ll nail that window shut,” Robinson promises.  
  
With a growl of frustration Gibbs kicks at the wall. Tony pulls him back and pushes him down on the mat, reaching for their dwindling first aid supplies.  
  
Gibbs thuds his head back against the wall, fear, desperation and frustration quickly becoming overwhelming. Tony grabs his head.  
  
“Knock it off,” Tony snarls.  
  
With a scowl, Gibbs nods and leans back, letting Tony take care of his hand.  
  
“I think we should try to make a run for it tonight,” Tony whispers in his ear.  
  
“Why now?” Gibbs asks with a frown.  
  
“I’m all healed up, we’re both in pretty good shape right now,” Tony presses a hand up under Gibbs’ shirt, ghosting over Gibbs’ ribs, “maybe a little skinny but…there’s some woods about thirty feet to the right of the shed. They’ve been getting complacent because we haven’t fought them much and…if you just stick by me Boss, I think we can do it. I think if we make it to the woods we have a chance.”  
  
Gibbs nods and reaches up to pat Tony’s cheek.  
  
“Alright. Run me through it. How many feet? Any obstacles?”  
  
They plan it thoroughly, going over it again and again in hushed tones.  
  
When they come tonight Tony slams one of them into the wall hard and Gibbs elbows the guy behind him, whirling to let his fist connect with a temple. Tony shouts “left!” and Gibbs turns again, lashing out viciously until he finds flesh.  
  
“Run!”  
  
Tony’s hand is on his bicep, shoving him in the right direction and he runs hard until the he feels the ground slope, slowing slightly, hands stretched out until they slap into a tree trunk and he picks his way through the foliage clumsily.  
  
Suddenly he realizes he can’t hear Tony and he turns, reaching out frantically.  
  
“Tony?” he whispers harshly, “Tony!”  
  
There’s no response and Gibbs swallows hard, trying to slow down his heart so he can listen. He doesn’t know how far he’s gotten or if he’d gone the right way.  
  
Finally he hears someone stumbling through the underbrush and he goes still, crouching down. He has options here. If he escapes there’s a chance, however slim, that he can find help. But if he leaves they might kill Tony and even if they don’t Tony will be the one bearing the brunt of their wrath. They haven’t killed them yet which means…nothing really. They might do it still but Gibbs has to hold on to the hope that he and Tony will make it through this somehow.  
  
“Tony?” he calls out.  
  
“He’s over here!” someone yells and Gibbs’ face scrunches up as the frustration wrenches a growl out of him.  
  
“Shit!” he curses, pulling away from the hands that grab him roughly.  
  
“Stupid old fucking bastard!” somebody strikes him hard in the stomach, “You broke my fucking nose!”  
  
He doesn’t fight them too much, trying to listen for Tony as he’s dragged back to the house. He heaves out a breath of relief when he hears Tony call out his name.  
  
Thankfully all they do tonight is beat them.


	11. Unable To Bend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somebody shoves him face first into it and he kicks out hard, catching the guy in the gut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: The author is EVIL. Seriously. Non-con (aka rape), torture, kink, violence, graphic descriptions of all of the above and language. A bit OOC in some places.

The one Tony has named Brick Shithouse is fucking Gibbs’ face hard, hairy pubic area slamming into Gibbs’ nose. He’s choking on the guy, who is unfortunately well hung, struggling not to lose what little food is on his stomach every time the head of Shithouse’s dick hits the back of his throat.  
  
He loses that battle after about ten minutes that feels more like ten hours. He throws up hard, dick still halfway down his throat, vomit escaping out of his nose.  
  
Brick Shithouse is none too pleased by this, exclaiming as he pulls away, backhanding Gibbs hard. Gibbs just keels over, body heaving until nothing will come out.  
  
“Aw, nasty man…” the tall, skinny one, Scrawny says.  
  
They make Gibbs clean up the mess, taunting and shoving at him. He snarls at them, lashing out in his blindness.  
  
“You missed a spot, old man. Can’t you see it?” Big and Ugly laughs.  
  
Somebody shoves him face first into it and he kicks out hard, catching the guy in the gut.  
  
“Shit,” Little Willy wheezes, “He’s fucking fast for a geezer.”  
  
He gets kicked a few times, grunting when he catches it in the ribs. When he’s finished cleaning up the rest somebody guides him up some stairs.  
  
“Strip,” Robinson says.  
  
Gibbs does so stiffly, body protesting.  
  
“I’m going to put my hand on your arm.”  
  
Gibbs nods, still flinching at the touch. Robinson sighs and Gibbs hears the hush of water.  
  
“Alright, you have to step over the edge of the tub,” Robinson instructs, guiding Gibbs forward.  
  
The shower feels like heaven and Gibbs chokes back the sobbing breath of relief. Robinson takes his hand and shows him where the shampoo and soap are.  
  
“I’m still here but um…I’m not watching. Just so you know.”  
  
He draws it out as long as he can, scrubbing at his skin hard, rinsing out his mouth. After he’s completely clean he presses his hands to the wall and just lets the water run over him, trying desperately to keep it together.  
  
He hears the squeak of the faucet being turned off and hangs his head, brow furrowing as he bites his lip.  
  
“What are they doing to Tony?” he asks, hating the weakness in his voice, “He won’t tell me.”  
  
Robinson presses a towel into his hand.  
  
“The same things they do to you.”  
  
Gibbs dries himself, dressing clumsily in – thankfully – clean clothes. Robinson leads him back downstairs and he hears the distinct slapping of flesh, hard and fast.  
  
“You have some fun while you were up there?” Big and Ugly asks breathlessly and Gibbs winces. Big and Ugly was brutal and if he was the one fucking Tony he’d be painfully sore later.  
  
“You know I prefer to watch,” Robinson says sneeringly.  
  
“What’d you make him jerk off?” Brick Shithouse grumbles, obviously still unhappy.  
  
“That’s between me and him,” Robinson laughs, thumping Gibbs on the back.  
  
Big and Ugly groans with release and Gibbs feels a rough hand on his shoulder.  
  
“Christ, are you guys done or what?” Robinson snaps, “We have a lot of shit to go over before tomorrow.”  
  
The guys grumble and Tony is shoved into Gibbs a moment later. Robinson leads them back out, grabbing some left over take-out as they head back through the kitchen.  
  
“I’ll make sure you’re stocked up tonight. We’ll be gone for a few days.”  
  
They huddle under the blankets, the cold almost too much as the wind batters the small shed and with fingers clumsy from pain and the dropping temperature they eat beef lo mein.  
  
Gibbs can feel his strength wearing thin but he just sits at Tony’s side resolutely, unable to voice what he so desperately needs.


	12. Dependency

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the guilt is overwhelming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: The author is EVIL. Seriously. Non-con (aka rape), torture, kink, violence, graphic descriptions of all of the above and language. A bit OOC in some places.

“…you wanna learn how to sign?”  
  
Tony snorts, “What for?”  
  
“Something to do. Besides, you can sign letters into my palm and I can still…here, look.”  
  
Gibbs seeks out Tony’s hand, wrapping it around his own as he signs the alphabet.  
  
After a moment Tony seems to acquiesce, “Ok.”  
  
He reaches up and strokes the fuzz that’s grown back, feeling Tony lean into it. It scares him a little sometimes, how much he’s come to depend on Tony. How much the other man’s presence means to him and how much it’s changed them and their relationship.  
  
“Besides,” Gibbs says softly to fill the silence, “Abby’s gotta have somebody to talk to.”  
  
\--  
  
If one of them is kept longer or taken separately then the other always stays awake until they’re together again. They keep vigil for each other, sometimes hours and a few awful times an entire night.  
  
When they’re reunited they check the other over carefully, checking for new injuries, applying first aid. The go through their routines, reassuring themselves with touch and words that they’re both still alive.  
  
Because the most horrible thought either of them can think of is being left alone in this hell.  
  
\--  
  
Sometimes the guilt is overwhelming.  
  
It’s all his fault they’re here, that they’re suffering through this. If he’d just checked, if he’d made sure that he was alone when he’d made the call, when he’d let Gibbs in, then none of this would have happened.  
  
Undercover ops were messy like that sometimes - he knew better than anybody but he still should have made sure.  
  
It hurts to watch Gibbs slowly fall apart. Tony tries to be strong, to give Gibbs whatever he needs to keep going but sometimes he can hardly stand to be touched. If it weren’t for him Gibbs wouldn’t even be here and Gibbs acts like Tony is his savior. He touches Tony like he’s the only thing in the world - the only person.  
  
Sometimes it just hurts so much he can’t breathe. He chokes on tears and hates himself when he lets Gibbs comfort him.  
  
He tries to make them angry, tries to get them to leave Gibbs alone but it only works some of the time.  
  
Then he has to watch the pain and anger on Gibbs’ face as he’s violated over and over. He makes himself watch. He watches as Gibbs’ blind eyes stare out into space, the emotions that flicker through them even though they lack the intense focus Tony has come to admire and depend on over the years. He watches Gibbs’ lips twist up into a snarl, the harsh invectives he spits out as they taunt him.  
  
Even now he’s strong. He never cries in front of them, never breaks - he saves that torture for Tony.  
  
He doesn’t know it’s torture, of course. If he knew what it did to Tony, to have to watch that, he’d try to soldier on the way he always has. He’d tuck it away and be brave and it would probably kill him.  
  
Sometimes Tony thinks it would be kinder to kill Gibbs. Gibbs had taught him how to snap a man’s neck, how to ram his nasal bone up into his brain, how to strangle the breath out of him.  
  
Tony will lay there stroking Gibbs’ face and let his hand trail to that vulnerable throat, that fragile neck and he’ll think how he could end it for them both.  
  
Every time he stops himself though.  
  
It’s not Gibbs’ strength that stops him, it’s his laughter. It’s rare but it happens. Tony will be reenacting a movie scene, or telling some outrageous joke and Gibbs will laugh - he’ll smile so big and wide it looks like his face might split and he’s so beautiful that Tony chokes on it.  
  
There are the times he thinks he could just kill himself but the thought of leaving Gibbs alone is unbearable. He knows it would kill Gibbs – his spirit – and he could never leave Gibbs to their mercies.  
  
As long as Gibbs needs him Tony will keep fighting it.  
  
\--  
  
Sometimes the guilt is overwhelming.  
  
The first time they’d taken just him he had unabashedly clung to Tony, listening to Tony beg and plead as they wrenched him away. He’d been growling and cursing the entire time, no begging had slipped past his snarling lips but he’d been terrified.  
  
Without Tony there he’d had nothing else to focus on. It had just been him and them and whatever they were doing to his body.  
  
The beatings were preferable to the alternative. Really he’d had worse in terms of torture. Getting slapped in the face was more insulting than painful but he supposed that was the point. Everything these sick fucks did was aimed at degrading them.  
  
But without Tony he couldn’t keep his mind from being immersed in the moment. It made him sick to think that he wanted Tony there, suffering right along with him because at least then he wasn’t alone with it.  
  
It eats at him. Sometimes he can’t help crying out, can’t stop the noise of pain. If Tony were there he would make a noise of reassurance, he’d say something if he could.  
  
He’s become attuned to Tony’s noise, he can pick out Tony’s breathing, Tony’s whimpers, Tony’s moans of pain over all the other sounds in the room.  
  
Gibbs hates himself for needing Tony so much that he’s willing to let him be tortured. He should be provoking these guys, taking some of the heat off of Tony, taking his fair share but when Tony mouths off Gibbs just feels his knees almost buckle with the gratitude.  
  
What’s worse is his need to touch Tony. He clings to him, all of his weakness laid out for Tony’s observant gaze. Tony comforts him, Tony holds him and he should be the one doing the comforting. He should be the strong one but it’s Tony who holds it together for them.  
  
In the night, suffocating in the blind dark, Gibbs swallows down the bile of self loathing as he lets Tony keep him from falling apart.


	13. (Un)Breaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gibbs seeks his face out and touches it tenderly. He can’t quite help the smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: The author is EVIL. Seriously. Non-con (aka rape), torture, kink, violence, graphic descriptions of all of the above and language. A bit OOC in some places.

One morning he blinks open his eyes and chokes on his next inhale.  
  
It’s only darkness and light, formless shadows but he can see them - can see something, anything.  
  
“Tony?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
Gibbs seeks his face out and touches it tenderly. He can’t quite help the smile. Tony’s just another formless shadow but Gibbs is overwhelmed with the joy.  
  
“Oh my God,” Tony breathes, “Can you…?”  
  
“Just shapes…light and dark.”  
  
Tony grabs him close; hugging him so tight it’s painful. Gibbs just laughs.  
  
The next time the bastards come for them he grins at them wildly, striding forward and laying a kiss right on one of them, laughing when the guy pulls back with a sputter.  
  
He doesn’t laugh for long but it was a moment where he remembered they could only break him if he let them. He holds on to it fiercely.  
  
\--  
  
Tony is still a blur but things are taking shape. Right now he’s gently massaging Gibbs’ fingers, cheek resting on Gibbs’ head where it’s propped on Tony’s shoulder.  
  
“Oh, hey!” Tony exclaims, turning up the little battery powered radio Robinson had left them.  
  
“What?” Gibbs mutters, scratching his nose and tucking in closer to Tony’s side.  
  
“I love this song. Iconic scene from Dirty Dancing.”  
  
“…that was with Patrick Swayze?”  
  
Tony goes quiet for a brief second and Gibbs prods him.  
  
“What?”  
  
“You’ve actually seen a movie?” Tony laughs.  
  
“I’ve seen lots of movies,” Gibbs snaps.  
  
Tony scrambles out from under the blankets and gets on his hands and knees, crawling towards Gibbs.  
  
“Baby…oh-oh, Baby…my sweet Baby…you’re the one,” he sings along with the radio.  
  
Gibbs grins and chuckles, protesting laughingly when Tony hauls him to his feet and grinds against him sensuously.  
  
“Just don’t try to lift me; you’ll break your back.”  
  
Tony snorts and pulls him close, hugging him tight.  
  
“Yeah, well, you’re no Jennifer Grey,” with a teasing tone he runs his fingers through Gibbs’ hair, “though you’ve got pretty much nothing left but grey.”  
  
“Premature,” Gibbs says dryly, “way before my time.”  
  
With a low chuckle Tony leans down and kisses him, soft, close-mouthed and for a moment it’s almost like they’re not here. Everything else falls away and it’s just them.  
  
“What…?” Gibbs breathes, brow furrowed.  
  
Tony cups one cheek, caressing it with a thumb as he kisses the other cheek tenderly.  
  
“Don’t…don’t say anything. I just need to be close to you.”  
  
“Ok,” Gibbs says softly, pushing his hands up under Tony’s three shirts and two sweaters to touch his bare skin.  
  
There’s something charged, electrical, in the air around them. The way Tony touches him makes him shiver and he lays his head on Tony’s shoulder, closing his eyes because suddenly the world is too bright.


	14. More Than I Can Bear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It takes a moment for Tony to catch up but when he does he smiles painfully.  
> “It’s ok, Gibbs. I know you’re going to make it up to me later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: The author is EVIL. Seriously. Non-con (aka rape), torture, kink, violence, graphic descriptions of all of the above and language. A bit OOC in some places.

Gibbs touches Tony’s cheek and pulls him a little closer. The first kiss is so soft Tony blinks with confusion, as if he’s not sure it happened. Then Gibbs is gently opening Tony’s mouth with his own lips and tongue, bringing Tony’s leg up over Gibbs’ lap as Gibbs insinuates his own leg between Tony’s.  
  
“Pretend it’s me,” Gibbs says between swipes of tongue and the brushing of lips, “Pretend it’s me touching you, me whose dick you’re sucking.”  
  
Tony tilts his head, making the angle of the kiss better and for a while they get caught up in that, ignoring the stale taste of each other’s mouths and the slight fuzz on their teeth.  
  
“Are you pretending it’s me?” Tony asks.  
  
“Yeah,” Gibbs nods, pausing briefly, “I know I’m being a bastard. I’m sorry for hurting you.”  
  
It takes a moment for Tony to catch up but when he does he smiles painfully.  
  
“It’s ok, Gibbs. I know you’re going to make it up to me later.”  
  
\--  
  
Seeing it doesn’t make it easier to deal with but it does make it easier for Gibbs to get angry, to really get the hate boiling in his blood. Watching Tony go down on his knees for some ugly jarhead with bad teeth makes Gibbs want to puke. He sees Tony close his eyes and bites back the smile. Tony’s thinking of Gibbs and when Gibbs feels the ghost of pressure he closes his own eyes, pretending it’s Tony taking him, Tony driving into him over and over again.  
  
They’re on an out of town case and they didn’t bring enough lube but the burn will just be a reminder of how much Tony wants him, how much Tony desires him. Tony’s going to leave bruises on his hips from gripping him so hard and Gibbs will trace them with his fingers later, smiling at the evidence of their coupling. It’s uncomfortable on the floor of the cheap motel room but they were too eager to make it to the bed…  
  
Tony makes a noise and Gibbs is briefly drawn out of the fantasy, opening his eyes to see Tony being impaled, gritting his teeth as the motherfucker enters him almost completely dry.  
  
Gibbs closes his eyes tightly again.  
  
The motel room is cold because Gibbs is a bastard and he won’t take the time to turn on the heat. He wants Tony fucking him all night, wants to remember this for days to come.  
  
Because Gibbs loves Tony and he’s glad to let Tony use his body for whatever pleasure pleases him.  
  
\--  
  
Gibbs nuzzles at Tony’s jaw.  
  
“We were in a motel room, out of town case,” he says, “you wanted me so much we barely got in the door. Took me hard from behind and left bruises all over my body.”  
  
“I…God…I blew you first. Let you fuck my face. You…” Tony swallows hard, voice catching in his throat, “God, Gibbs, I can’t do this anymore.”  
  
Gibbs shushes him, cradling Tony in his arms.  
  
“You can, Tony. It’ll be ok. They just need a little more time to find us.”  
  
Tony’s breath is heaving out of him and his grip on Gibbs is painful.  
  
“You could kill me,” Tony says.  
  
“No,” Gibbs grinds out, voice like steel even as his heart trips in his chest.  
  
“I could…I could snap your neck and then hang myself, I’m strong enough. I could tear up one of the sheets and tie it to one of the rafters. We could end it. God, Gibbs, we could make it stop.”  
  
Gibbs kisses him desperately, keeping Tony close.  
  
“You just have to keep thinking about home, Tony. There’s all those movies you have to make me watch,” Gibbs’ voice drops to a soft, soothing rumble as he strokes Tony’s cheek, “and I have to teach you how to sail. You’ve gotta help me get the boat out of the basement. I’m going to tell you how I plan to do it but it’s a surprise. I’m going to…I’m going to keep you close, make sure that you’re not lonely anymore. I’m going to take care of you and make all of this up to you.”  
  
The lump in his throat finally chokes him and he can’t speak anymore. Tony is still against him, breathing evened out.  
  
“Sorry,” Tony says finally, “I…I just…I lost it for a second.”  
  
Gibbs nods and Tony kisses him, wiping at the wetness on Gibbs’ cheeks.  
  
“I’m sorry I said those things, Gibbs, I didn’t mean it. I don’t want us to die. I want to help you with your boat and I want to take you to this restaurant in Philly. They make the best sandwiches in the world. You ever been surfing?”  
  
“No,” Gibbs shakes his head, pressing in a little closer.  
  
“I think you’d be really good at it. I mean, it might be hell on your knee after a while but you should try it at least once.”  
  
“I’d like that. Where would we go?”  
  
“Honolulu. Maui’s nice and all but the hotels are over-rated.”  
  
Gibbs chuckles at that and Tony kisses him again.  
  
“You look good sun-kissed,” Tony grins, “like when you came back from Mexico.”  
  
“Not all of us are pagan sun-worshippers, Tony. I gotta get good and sunburned to work up a tan like that.”  
  
“Guess I’ll have to rub sunscreen all over your hot bod then.”  
  
“All over?” Gibbs waggles his eyebrows.  
  
“I’d hate for you to get burned anywhere, Boss.”


	15. Wild Side Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Nah,” Gibbs grins, “I’m not that kind of girl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: The author is EVIL. Seriously. Non-con (aka rape), torture, kink, violence, graphic descriptions of all of the above and language. A bit OOC in some places.

“How’s your vision?” Robinson asks.  
  
Gibbs blinks with surprise, “Better. Little hazy but almost back to normal.”  
  
With a grimace Robinson nods and bites his lower lip.  
  
“Then I’m sorry.”  
  
“For what?”  
  
“They’re…they want you too, come on.”  
  
He can’t quite control the way his breathing speeds up a little or the slight hesitance in his step as he lurches forward.  
  
“What is that?”  
  
“What?”  
  
“What you just did with your hands?”  
  
“…sign language.”  
  
The freezing night air steals his breath and Robinson grips his arm firmly, almost kindly.  
  
“What did you sign?”  
  
For a second Gibbs has to think about it as they come up on the back door and the anxiety starts to really take hold.  
  
“Strong,” he says, gripping the door jamb hard, “it’s the sign for strong.”  
  
With that he straightens, steeling himself – his posture, his gaze, his will – and scowls fiercely, stepping resolutely into whatever hell they’ve crafted tonight.  
  
Tony is getting pounded into by Brick Shithouse but that’s unfortunately not unusual. What’s unusual is the dress, sloppy make-up and scraggly blonde wig they’ve dressed Tony up in.  
  
Also unusual is the completely dead look in Tony’s eyes, like he’s not even there and Gibbs can’t decide if it’s better or worse – can’t decide whether or not to try and snap Tony out of it now or let him stay in whatever headspace he’s fallen in to.  
  
They don’t do anything to him tonight. They make him watch as they abuse Tony for hours and the longer he watches the angrier Gibbs gets. Tony is completely submissive; flopping over into whatever position they push him into, not acknowledging any of it.  
  
Gibbs starts hurling curses and invectives, getting more and more colorful with every insult until Scrawny starts slapping him around and threatening to put him in a dress.  
  
“You’d have to buy me a real nice dress,” Gibbs sneers, nose bleeding, “and a purse to match. I’m not cheap.”  
  
Little Willy grabs him by the hair, looking at him with a disgusting hint of interest.  
  
“You’re not, huh?”  
  
“Nah,” Gibbs grins, “I’m not that kind of girl.”  
  
He tries to jerk away from the hand caressing his cheek but his hair is held fast.  
  
“No, you’re old-fashioned, aren’t you?”  
  
Gibbs grabs Little Willy’s crotch hard and snarls.  
  
“Not that old-fashioned. Could show you young bucks a thing or two.”  
  
Anything - God, anything - to get their attention off of Tony for a minute, to bring life back into that dead, unseeing gaze.  
  
Strong – he has to be strong.  
  
“Maybe another night,” Little Willy smirks.  
  
When they finally put them back in the shed – like dogs, Gibbs thinks with a snarl – Gibbs immediately rips the wig of Tony’s freshly shorn head and pulls the dress off of him, tossing them at the door where Robinson and Scrawny are standing. He whips out his dick and pisses on them – the dress, the wig, Scrawny’s pant leg.  
  
“What the fuck!” Scrawny growls but Robinson just laughs.  
  
Tony is just standing there, still dead-eyed and Gibbs grabs a blanket, covering him.  
  
“Hey, Tony,” he says lowly.  
  
Tony doesn’t respond and Gibbs bites his lower lip.  
  
Rob kicks the wig and dress out into the yard and steps forward.  
  
“I’ll bring you some stuff later,” he whispers before turning back to Scrawny with a nasty smile, “I think you guys finally broke him.”  
  
“Not a fucking chance,” Tony rasps, eyes fixing on Robinson, gaze deadly.  
  
Gibbs grips Tony’s arm with a small, proud smile.  
  
Scrawny huffs out a breath and mumbles something before waving Robinson back out and then they’re alone again. Gibbs cleans them up as best he can with dingy water and wraps all the blankets around Tony because the only clothes they’d left him were covered in piss out in the yard. Gibbs strokes Tony’s head and sucks Tony’s fingers into his mouth and holds him close, rocking them back and forth while Tony cries into his shoulder.  
  
Gibbs lets Tony’s fingers slip free, leaving trails of saliva on his chin and he kisses Tony’s head.  
  
“Ssshh…that’s it…it’s ok.”  
  
Tony cries himself to sleep and that’s how Robinson finds them, Tony softly snoring in Gibbs arms with Gibbs still rocking them gently.  
  
He watches for long minutes as Gibbs stares back at him but Gibbs can’t put on the anger right now, not with Tony in his arms like this. Robinson sets the box down – food, clothes, water, first aid – and brings them fresh water to wash with and a clean bathroom bucket.  
  
“I…is he…” Robinson shakes his head, looking horrified, “I’m sorry.”  
  
He retreats, closing the door quickly, softly.  
  
Gibbs pulls Tony a little bit closer and kisses his head again.  
  
“It’s ok,” Gibbs says softly, “You’re strong. We’ll get through this.”  
  
Tony slumbers on obliviously.  
  
Really, Gibbs is saying it to himself.


	16. Breaking Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Stop it!” Gibbs roars, “Leave him alone!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: The author is EVIL. Seriously. Non-con (aka rape), torture, kink, violence, graphic descriptions of all of the above and language. A bit OOC in some places.

They’re full of piss and vinegar tonight, revved up on the high of some success that they keep making obscure references to. They go at Gibbs and Tony with gusto, laughing and roughing them up.  
  
“Hey, pretty boy,” Scrawny leers.  
  
“Hey, ugly boy,” Tony sneers back.  
  
Gibbs’ eyes snap over but he can’t make his mouth work.  
  
A wicked rage passes over Scrawny’s features but is just as quickly gone.  
  
“Hold him down and keep his legs open. I’m gonna ugly up that pretty dick and that pretty face.”  
  
Tony’s eyes go impossibly wide and Gibbs tries to wrench away vainly against the two bastards holding him down, ignoring the pain of struggling while impaled. The knife glints in the low light and Gibbs shouts.  
  
“No! Stop it!”  
  
His fists clench and he bucks again but is held fast. They just laugh harder as Tony turns his head away, pressing his face into his arm, tears flowing freely as he starts crying in earnest, unable to even beg as the knife lowers towards his crotch.  
  
“Stop it!” Gibbs roars, “Leave him alone!”  
  
The two men holding Tony down taunt him, calling him a pussy.  
  
“That’s enough,” Robinson says, stepping forward.  
  
“What?” Big and Ugly asks, baring his bad teeth.  
  
“The guy’s crying, you scared him, alright? That’s enough.”  
  
Scrawny pulls the knife away, blinking and swallowing as he really looks at Tony.  
  
“Uh…I wasn’t really gonna cut your dick up, man. I was just…”  
  
Brick Shithouse pulls out of Gibbs roughly, making Gibbs grunt with the pain but Gibbs just takes the opportunity to struggle away, quickly crawling to Tony’s side as he too is released.  
  
“It’s ok,” he says lowly, “Tony, come on, it’s ok.”  
  
Tony’s curled up in a tight ball, still sobbing helplessly. Gibbs strokes his head, his back, whispering small comforts in his ear. The whole world falls away around them. His only concern is Tony. He’s unaware of their captors watching them, the stricken looks on their faces as they watch Gibbs try to console Tony, as if they’ve suddenly realized these are other human beings they’re looking at.  
  
Eventually Tony calms down enough to wrap his arms around Gibbs’ waist, pressing his face into Gibbs’ thigh. He’s still crying but it’s softer, not as soul shattering. Robinson drops blankets on them, shuffling the other guys out the door.  
  
“I’ll lock ‘em back up, you guys take off. Grab a few beers or something.”  
  
They hear the roar of a car engine and Robinson watches out the window, sagging visibly when they’re gone. He crouches in front of Gibbs and Tony, rubbing at his mouth, eyes wide and a little watery.  
  
“I’m really, really sorry.”  
  
“Not yet,” Gibbs snarls with deadly promise.  
  
“These guys have my brother,” Robinson says softly, eyes begging Gibbs to understand, “They have him in this…fucking facility somewhere and if I don’t play along then I don’t get in there to get him out. He got mixed up with this shit but…he’s not a bad kid. He just…”  
  
“We can help you…”  
  
“No,” Robinson shakes his head, “You can’t. They’re locked up tight, high security compound. You guys…if we show up they’ll kill _us_ and then they’ll kill _him_. I have to prove I’m one of them. Once I get in I can get Jameson out. It’s the only way.”  
  
Gibbs looks down at Tony who’s still letting out the occasional soft sob. He strokes Tony’s head, the rough stubble catching on his calluses and lets out a soft sobbing breath of his own.  
  
“We can’t take much more of this,” Gibbs says shakily.  
  
Robinson looks like he might cry too, “I’m really sorry. God, I am so fucking sorry.”  
  
With a loud sniffle, Tony sits up, scrubbing at his face.  
  
“If you’re sorry,” Tony says raggedly, tears still flowing, “help give us what we’re going to need to nail these motherfuckers to the wall.”  
  
He’s so impressed by Tony in that moment that Gibbs almost finds a smile.  
  
Their gazes lock and Robinson slowly reaches out to squeeze Tony’s shoulder.  
  
“You tell me what you want and I’ll make sure you get it.”  
  
Robinson lets them shower and change, watching carefully for the others. He sits at the entrance of the shed as Gibbs and Tony eat their first hot meal in months, repeating back to Gibbs over and over the list of evidence they’ll need to put these bastards away.  
  
He leaves them a deck of cards, clutching at the door frame, his other hand – the one still clutching the gun – hanging loose at his side.  
  
“I promise. I promise I’ll get you what you need and I’ll get you out of this alive.”  
  
That night is the last night they get raped.


	17. To Drive The Cold Winter Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony tilts Gibbs head back and kisses his lips like he’s never seen a mouth before, like it’s a new, interesting thing he has to explore fully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: The author is EVIL. Language. A bit OOC in some places.

The weather is bitter cold and Robinson tries to keep them stocked with blankets, even running an extension cord out on occasion so they have a small space heater but for the most part they’re forced to hold on to each other for warmth.  
  
It’s not awkward the way it might have been some months ago. They’ve seen and touched almost every part of each other at this point, applying first aid and administering comfort.  
  
Gibbs is in Tony’s lap, ear pressed to Tony’s chest as he listens to his heartbeat. They’re signing to one another, just practicing, numb fingers tripping up on occasion. His stomach is grumbling but they don’t dare do more than nibble on their dwindling supplies.  
  
Christmas had long come and gone but the batteries in the radio had died, leaving them only with last year’s newspapers and no sense of how much time has passed.  
  
Finally Gibbs brings Tony’s fingers to his lips, kissing them and tucking their hands under the blankets.  
  
“Wonder how the team’s holding up.”  
  
“…can we talk about anything else?” Tony asks, not quite able to mask the misery and despair.  
  
“Sure,” Gibbs nods, “…there any drive-ins near us?”  
  
“A couple in Maryland…I don’t think there are any in DC but I’ve never really looked.”  
  
“Been a while since I went to one.”  
  
Tony tilts Gibbs head back and kisses his lips like he’s never seen a mouth before, like it’s a new, interesting thing he has to explore fully. It’s a little amazing and Gibbs feels as if his entire body is focused and centered on that one point of contact – completely engrossed in the way he’s being possessed.  
  
“I’m going to reintroduce you to the concept of a social life,” Tony grins when he pulls away.  
  
“Mmm…” Gibbs groans, squinting and smiling back, “do you have to?”  
  
“Don’t worry, Gibbs. I plan on keeping you all to myself. It’s more about the activity than the company.”  
  
“Am I gonna get any quiet time?”  
  
“Well, I have to let you sleep once in a while.”  
  
Gibbs scoots back, facing Tony and maneuvering himself so that he’s got his legs wrapped around Tony’s waist, pressing their fronts together and pulling the blankets close around them again.  
  
It’s an almost vulnerable position for him, a few inches, a lack of clothes and Tony could easily be in pushing into him, fucking him. He wonders if it can be good, if Tony will do that for him someday – drive away all the nightmares and bad memories with his touch and his love. Gibbs craves the intimacy but as they have so many times in his life the words fail him. Thankfully Tony seems to understand him, bringing his arms to pull Gibbs close, letting Gibbs’ head rest on his shoulder.  
  
He turns his face to Tony’s neck, licking at the flesh he finds there lazily, body relaxing against Tony’s completely.  
  
“What about a sex life?” he rumbles, “you gonna reintroduce me to one of those?”  
  
Tony thrusts against him faintly, though they’re both too tired, sick and hungry to get aroused.  
  
“I’m going to introduce you to the kind of sex life you’ve only ever dreamt about.”  
  
The corner of Gibbs’ mouth turns up, eyes shut as he shivers slightly with anticipation. He can imagine how good Tony will be in bed, how good Tony’s going to make him feel.  
  
“What are you going to do to me?”  
  
“Oh, all sorts of things, Gibbs – do you really want to ruin the surprise?”  
  
“Maybe you could give me a little something to tide me over? Something good to dream about tonight.”  
  
Tony does something dirty and impossibly hot to Gibbs’ ear with his tongue.  
  
“ _Christ_ , Tony.”  
  
“That was a little something,” Tony smirks.  
  
“If I could get it up right now…”  
  
“Promises, promises.”  
  
Despite the stimulation Gibbs is still totally relaxed in Tony’s arms. When the first lock clicks he tightens his grip minutely.  
  
“Just pretend to be asleep,” he whispers.  
  
Tony goes limp, cheek resting on top of Gibbs’ head and Gibbs keeps his face pressed into Tony’s neck, slowing his breathing.  
  
“Aaaw,” Brick Shithouse coos mockingly, “Look at the widdle Special Agents.”  
  
Under the blankets Tony strokes Gibbs’ back soothingly, tiny movements that Gibbs might not even notice if he wasn’t so attuned to Tony now.  
  
“Just leave ‘em alone for tonight,” Robinson sighs, dropping a box down on the ground, “I’m tired and I wanna get out of here.”  
  
“Whatever,” Shithouse snorts, “I’m getting kind of bored with them anyway. Maybe our uh… _Boss_ will think up something to do with them.”  
  
“…maybe. Come on, let’s go.”  
  
When the last lock is in place Gibbs kisses his way up Tony’s throat, along his jaw to his lips.  
  
“You smell what I smell?”  
  
Tony peers around Gibbs and then locks eyes with him, smiling disbelievingly.  
  
“Real food?”  
  
Gibbs smirks and leans back, grabbing the box and dragging it over carefully. Tony rearranges the blankets to retain as much of the heat they’ve managed to build up as possible.  
  
“Oh, God,” Gibbs groans, opening the containers.  
  
“I have never been so happy to see KFC in my life,” Tony licks his lips, mouth watering.  
  
They eat with vigor, stomachs protesting gently at being stuffed for the first time in months. Gibbs steals a bite of mashed potatoes off of Tony’s fork with a smirk, stuffing a piece of chicken into Tony’s mouth when he opens it to protest.  
  
There’s more of their usual fare underneath – dry foods, pop-top cans and jerky – things that will keep for a long time.  
  
Tonight they sleep well, bellies full, relaxed in the other’s embrace.


	18. Promise of Freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By morning Gibbs feels almost human again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: The author is EVIL. Language. A bit OOC in some places.

They wake up one morning to find the door of the shed wide open. Later it will gnaw at Gibbs thinking how broken he was that it took him several hours to even think of escape.  
  
They stand with their backs to the wall, staring at the door, not even daring to speak. Tony staggers forward first, breath coming in ragged gasps as he reaches out with shaking fingers.  
  
“Gibbs,” he whispers.  
  
That’s ultimately what snaps him out of it. Gibbs comes to Tony’s side and they lean against each other heavily as they stumble up to the main house. It’s empty but there’s food and clean clothes. They wash, change and eat, falling asleep on the deliciously soft mattress in the master bedroom.  
  
By morning Gibbs feels almost human again.   
  
For a while Tony moves around observing things, trying not to disturb too much.  
  
“It’s March,” he remarks, looking at a calendar on the wall, “Almost April.”  
  
“When were we abducted?” Gibbs asks absently, eyes fixed on the living room where they’d endured most of their torture.  
  
“Late August.”  
  
Their eyes meet and Tony gives him a smile that makes him ache.  
  
Gibbs smiles back at him, “Almost nine months.”  
  
“Think they gave up on us?”  
  
“Nah,” Gibbs shakes his head, “Abby and McGee are too optimistic still.”  
  
“Ducky’s about as stubborn as you are sometimes,” Tony smirks, sitting down in an armchair.   
  
“Yeah,” Gibbs chuckles, “Ziva probably gave up on us around October though.”  
  
“Definitely. November the latest.”  
  
“Too bad it’s not her birthday. It’d be a really great surprise.”  
  
Tony glances around, “Too bad this place is full of evidence. I really want to burn it down.”  
  
“We can burn it later.”  
  
“There’s a car out front,” Tony says, standing suddenly, staring out the window.  
  
He glances around and Gibbs spots the keys on the wall at the same time he does.  
  
Gibbs licks his lips and the promise of freedom makes his fingers twitch.  
  
It still takes him a while to stand up from the kitchen table – they’d eaten surprisingly little but he’s pretty sure it’ll be a while before either of them have their full appetites back – and move towards the keys.  
  
They can’t find any shoes, so they slip on jackets and coats and socks, stumbling through the early Spring snow to the car. Tony’s head thuds back against the headrest and Gibbs lets out a sobbing breath of relief when it starts.  
  
The main road is easy to find and the tank is full.   
  
“I know this road,” Tony says.  
  
“Me too.”  
  
“We have to…”  
  
“Remember…for the case,” Gibbs finishes.  
  
They make it all the way back to DC, only stopping once because of gas – a kind farmer pulls over and fills up their tank with his spare gas can when they run out, another thing that will bother Gibbs later. Not that someone helped but that he was out of it enough to need the help.  
  
When they pull up in front of headquarters they stare at the building for a while until Gibbs finally gets out, using the car for support as he goes to the passenger side to open Tony’s door. Tony is a little steadier on his feet and he wraps an arm around Gibbs as they walk up to the front entrance.  
  
The security guard does a double take when he sees them, taking an entire minute before he scrambles for his walkie-talkie.  
  
“Get…get Dr. Mallard up to the front entrance! Agents Gibbs and DiNozzo are back and they need medical attention!”  
  
Seconds later they hear their names yelled out from inside and McGee comes barreling out, hugging them both fiercely.  
  
“Boss! Tony!”  
  
He turns to the guard.  
  
“Get…”  
  
“I already called for Dr. Mallard,” the guard nods.  
  
“God…let’s get you inside, come on,” McGee pulls Gibbs’ other arm around his neck, “Ziva!”  
  
She stumbles out, jaw slack and tears in her eyes.  
  
“You…you’re alive,” she nearly whispers.  
  
Suddenly she seems to snap back into herself as she goes to Tony’s side.  
  
“Well, of course you are!” she laughs with relief, “It was very inconsiderate of you to make us worry like that.”  
  
“Sorry,” Gibbs smirks.  
  
A few minutes later Abby comes tearing out of an elevator, followed closely by Ducky and Director Vance. There’s relief evident on everyone’s faces – though it’s hard to tell with Abby since she’s crying so hard. She hugs them carefully while Ducky tries to guide them over to a row of benches.  
  
“Timothy please call for an ambulance.”  
  
McGee shakes his open phone, having already dialed, “This is Special Agent Timothy McGee with NCIS, I have two agents in need of assistance at NCIS headquarters…”  
  
Gibbs tunes it all out from there. Ducky pokes and prods at them gently, checking their vitals and patting Gibbs’ cheek as he smiles up at him.  
  
“It’s good to have you back,” he says, voice thick with emotion.  
  
“Good to be back.”  
  
He’s distantly aware of Tony giving Vance a run-down on their captivity but he just shuts his eyes and lets it all wash over him.  
  
They’re home.


	19. Keeping Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Christ, you’re loud,” Tony grouses, “I heard you all the way down the hall.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: The author is EVIL. Language. A bit OOC in some places.  
> Author's Notes: Angst. Comfort. The healing process begins.

Gibbs wakes with a start, arm flailing out. Tony’s not there. He sits up, body still weak and protesting.  
  
“Tony?”  
  
He glances around but the familiar shape isn’t at his side.  
  
“Tony!”  
  
Panic begins to set in. They must have taken him again while Gibbs was sleeping. He pulls at the wires and tubes that impede his movement, setting off alarms.  
  
Some distant, rational part of him remembers that they’re in the hospital, that he fell asleep and they must have put Tony into a separate room.  
  
As he lifts the nasal cannula over his head a nurse rushes in.  
  
“Agent…Mr…Agent Gibbs! Please stop!”  
  
“Where’s Tony?” he snarls, standing on shaky feet.  
  
“He…please, Agent Gibbs, get back into bed.”  
  
“Where the hell is Tony?” he roars.  
  
Tony hobbles in, another nurse trailing after him.  
  
“Christ, you’re loud,” Tony grouses, “I heard you all the way down the hall.”  
  
Gibbs staggers forward and Tony meets him halfway, wrapping him up in warm arms.  
  
“Come on,” Tony sighs, “let’s get you back to bed.”  
  
“Stay.”  
  
“I will. Now come on.”  
  
Tony helps him back onto the hospital bed, climbing in beside him. The nurse who had followed Tony in sighs and moves off to bring his IV and oxygen, while the nurse who had come in to help Gibbs looks on the verge of tears. Tony gives her a wink as he settles in close, arm around Gibbs’ shoulders as Gibbs rests his head on Tony’s shoulder.  
  
“It’s ok, Boss,” Tony says softly, “Go back to sleep.”  
  
\--  
  
Gibbs is laying on his side on the exam table, knees pressed to his chest as the doctor prepares to complete his physical examination. It’s too vulnerable and he flinches away when a hand falls on his shoulder.  
  
“Agent Gibbs? Are you alright?”  
  
For a second he chokes on the words.  
  
“Could…could you ask Tony to come here?”  
  
The nurse looks up at the doctor and she nods at whatever gesture the doctor has made. Minutes later she comes back, covering Gibbs up with a sheet.  
  
He manages to wink at her with a faint smile, “He’s seen it all already, honey.”  
  
She wags a finger at him and walks away. When she returns this time Tony is with her, swimming in his own clothing – Abby had brought them clean clothes to go home in, though she’d been more cautious with her affections than he could ever remember her being.  
  
Tony takes his hand casually with a gentle smile.  
  
“Hey, Gibbs,” he says softly, leaning in close.  
  
“Hey.”  
  
“You ok?”  
  
Gibbs presses his lips together in a tight line, eyes searching Tony’s face.  
  
“Think you could get a medical degree in the next ten minutes?”  
  
That earns him a chuckle.  
  
“You want Ducky to do it? He did my exam.”  
  
Gibbs considers this and then shakes his head.  
  
“Bad enough he’s gonna read the report, couldn’t have him do this too.”  
  
“Alright,” Tony licks his lips and glances away in thought, “close your eyes.”  
  
There’s no hesitation. Gibbs closes his eyes and feels Tony move around behind him. Immediately he understands and relaxes.  
  
Tony’s the one pressing a searching finger up inside him, probing, looking him over.  
  
It’s over soon enough and then there’s a hushed conversation.  
  
“Ok, we’re done,” Tony says softly.  
  
Gibbs opens his eyes to find Tony smiling at him. They’re alone, the doctor and nurse have left the room. Tony uses a tissue to wipe away the lube and the small spurt of semen from when his prostate had been checked, tossing it in the trash and helping Gibbs sit up on the table, hospital gown crunching and sheet pooling around his waist.  
  
“The doctor said there’s some minor scarring from when you got um…torn. But that there’s no permanent damage and you should be fine. Also, you have a very healthy prostate.”  
  
“Good to know,” Gibbs smiles shakily.  
  
“You ready to go home?”  
  
“God, yeah.”  
  
Tony pulls him close, holding him tight for a moment.  
  
When they get in the door Gibbs immediately goes to the couch and collapses on it, letting his head fall back as he breathes in the scent of his own home. Tony lays down heavily, propping his head in Gibbs’ lap.  
  
“Thanks for letting me stay here,” Tony says.  
  
Tony’s apartment had been cleared out by McGee and Ziva when the landlord had finally gotten fed up. All of Tony’s things were in storage right now except for his clothes which were in Gibbs’ guest room. Gibbs strokes Tony’s cheek.  
  
“Might be the PTSD talking but…I don’t want you to find a new place.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Stay here. Live here.”  
  
With wide eyes, Tony nods and then curls in close, pressing his face against Gibbs’ stomach.  
  
\--  
  
Gibbs trims his own hair, high and tight, just shy of his standard cut when he was in the Corps.  
  
Tony lets his hair grow out longer, almost as long as it was when Kate had first started with them.  
  
They sleep curled around each other in Gibbs’ bed which feels at once immense and not nearly as big as it used to. Gibbs twirls his fingers in Tony’s hair and Tony slides his hand up under Gibbs’ shirt to run his hand over Gibbs’ skin.  
  
Days become filled with routines as they recover. In the morning they go jogging because Tony insists on the cardio and they do Gibbs’ standard Marine work-out with lots of crunches and push-ups because Gibbs insists on the discipline. They drink coffee that Tony makes faces at and eat cereal that’s too sweet for Gibbs by far when they can manage to choke down any food at all. Gibbs works on his boat or some other household project with Tony’s assistance and then they watch TV or some rented film.  
  
They spend far too much time in Gibbs’ big, old tub running soapy hands over each other’s bodies and at night before they go to sleep they touch each other reverently. Gibbs will reach between Tony’s legs and fondle him gently, like he might accidentally snap something off if he plays too rough.  
  
He learns the soft, wrinkled texture of Tony’s sac, rolling it in his palm rhythmically and the velvety hardness of the shaft, the soft gasping exhalations of Tony’s breath against his cheek when he rubs his thumb over the head. He can’t bring himself to learn the taste just yet, can’t bring his semen covered fingers to his lips to lick them clean even though he thinks Tony would like to watch that.  
  
Eventually he learns the tight heat of Tony’s hole; sliding slick fingers up inside him as Tony bites his lips and groans softly, noises bitten off as if he’s afraid of being too loud. He fingers Tony all over the house, randomly deciding that he needs to bring Tony off with questing digits.  
  
In the middle of a movie he’ll get up and get the lube, dragging Tony’s pants down and rubbing insistently at his hole until Tony spreads his legs just that little bit more and he can slide his fingers in.  
  
Or he’ll push him down on the kitchen floor, jacking Tony off with one hand as he fingers him with the other, watching Tony come undone under his touch.  
  
Or he’ll hold him up against the boat, lifting one of Tony’s legs to wrap around his waist, curling his hand around Tony’s thigh for support, fingering him and rubbing his thumb over the perineum. Tony will be wearing a tattered sweatshirt and nothing more as Gibbs kisses him.  
  
He learns the taste of Tony’s skin and mouth, the smell of his body after he’s cum. He learns the feel of Tony’s hands all over his body, sucking him with a warm, wet mouth until he arches and cries out.  
  
He learns the sound of the words “I love you” spilling out over Tony’s tongue. The warmth of Tony’s arms holding him close from behind as Gibbs does the dishes, strong body pressed flush against him.  
  
He learns to bury himself in Tony’s embrace, entangled in a cocoon of bed sheets as the nightmares and tremors subside.  
  
Try as he might he can’t re-erect the walls. There’s only rubble left and whenever he feels like the intimacy is too much all he can do is surrender to it, watching the debris get swept away.  
  
He straddles Tony’s hips, sucking Tony’s fingers and jerking them both off as Tony watches him with half-lidded, lust-hazy eyes.  
  
They cum in spurts all over each other and Gibbs sags down on top of Tony, pressing their foreheads together, their breath mingling as their bodies tremble with orgasm.  
  
Gibbs learns the sound of “I love you” spilling out over his own tongue into Tony’s ear.


	20. Captive In Freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He lays his hands on Tony’s shoulders and Tony looks up at him with tired, miserable eyes.  
> “Couldn’t sleep,” he says softly, voice a little scratchy.

Gibbs is looking around his desk, trying to figure out what he did with his damn reading glasses. He’d checked the top of his head, his shirt collar, all of his pockets and just about every drawer.  
  
Tony comes over and grabs his hands.  
  
He suddenly realizes he’d been signing to himself and Tony’s eyes tell him he’s been doing it for longer than a few minutes.  
  
Tony lifts a few folders, retrieving the glasses and gently sliding them on to Gibbs’ face.  
  
“Always the last place you’d look, right Boss?”  
  
\--  
  
Tony is sitting up on the bed, obviously exhausted. Gibbs doesn’t say anything as he gets undressed. He’d been following up on a lead, talking to an Admiral overseas in Japan and the time difference had made it necessary to stay at the office late.  
  
He lays his hands on Tony’s shoulders and Tony looks up at him with tired, miserable eyes.  
  
“Couldn’t sleep,” he says softly, voice a little scratchy.  
  
“Figured," Gibbs rumbles, "Got us both tomorrow off anyway. Admiral Townsend gave me what we needed, case is closed.”  
  
Tony nods, closing his eyes, already relaxing now that Gibbs is nearby.  
  
“You ok?” Gibbs asks gently.  
  
“I don’t know,” Tony admits.  
  
\--  
  
Tony ends up going to the hospital for a small stab wound. Gibbs soldiers on, wraps up the case, breaks the bad guy in interrogation and even drives all the way home before he falls apart. Tony walks in the door – _he looks fine, it was a shallow wound to the arm, nothing fatal_ – and smiles gently when he sees Gibbs standing against the wall, waiting for him.  
  
They stare at each other for a moment, the warm night air making Gibbs shiver as he realizes he’s cold. The crickets set up a loud chorus from the flower bed by the porch and Tony shuts the door quietly.  
  
The first step forward is halting but then Tony is in front of Gibbs, tracing callused pads over Gibbs’ lips and Gibbs is sucking Tony’s fingers into his mouth hungrily, moaning faintly as he touches Tony, hands roaming, seeking reassurance.  
  
Tony pulls his fingers away, trailing spit slick digits across Gibbs’ cheek as he grabs Gibbs’ face to kiss him thoroughly.  
  
“Take me to bed,” Tony breathes when he pulls away.  
  
Gibbs pulls him close and holds him tight for long minutes.  
  
Under the warmth of too many blankets they lay tangled, bodies sated and minds set at ease as they fall fitfully to slumber.  
  
\--  
  
Tony shivers at the slightest hint of cold. When he lets Gibbs turn on the air conditioning he heaps piles of blankets on the bed and they wake up sweating in the morning from combined body heat. He always has extra shirts and a jacket on hand, leaving the windows down in the car no matter how hot the sticky summer days get. Gibbs will casually strip off his own jacket and slip it over Tony’s shoulders, rubbing his back with a small smile when Tony seems to feel a chill.  
  
Gibbs keeps food hidden in strange places - desk and dresser drawers, pockets, couch cushions. Tony finds granola bars, packets of chips, beef jerky and all sorts of other prepackaged things tucked into odd places. He doesn’t say anything to Gibbs about it but he does watch Gibbs with worried eyes, tracing fingers over Gibbs’ jutting hip bones and the lines of his ribs.   
  
Tony will often stand close to Gibbs’ side, casually keeping people at a distance with a dangerous glance. He’ll touch Gibbs subtly, brush lint off of his jacket or give him a hand up when he’s been crouching down too long. Their fingers brush every time Tony hands him something and his hand always finds Gibbs’ shoulder or the small of Gibbs’ back when they’re alone in the elevator or have some other brief moment of privacy.  
  
They sign to each other all the time now, Abby bouncing back and forth between them like a little girl as she shares in conversations. It’s the conversations they have in the field, in the bullpen and everywhere else that seem to grate on the nerves of the people around them. Gibbs will sign something, rapid fire and Tony will nod, running off to complete a task or check some fact. They don’t mean to exclude other people it just seems more natural now. More strange to their friends and colleagues is when Tony will sign something with a smirk or a sly smile and Gibbs will laugh or smirk wickedly in return. Occasionally Abby will catch them at that and she’ll grin broadly, turning away as if trying not to listen in.  
  
Tony puts his weight back on fairly quickly. He’s always had a healthy appetite and he has no problem happily digging into whatever’s set in front of him. Ziva has been cooking for them a lot since they returned, watching Tony tuck in with a pleased smile on her lips. She pats his back, high, close to his neck and then glares at him when he gives her a knowing look.  
  
There’s no jealousy when Tony hugs her, kisses her cheek. Gibbs knows there’s nothing there even if he thinks that Ziva sometimes wishes there were.  
  
Gibbs doesn’t put the weight back on but he doesn’t think about it much. His appetite hasn’t really come back yet and he figures he’ll just eat more when the need takes him - except the need doesn’t. He picks at the meals Ziva brings them, barely nibbles at take-out and only consumes about a quarter of the coffee that he used to. Tony watches him with worried eyes, discreetly and quietly urging him – sometimes verbally, sometimes in sign - to take another bite as if he was a child. Occasionally Gibbs obliges him but for the most part he just glares and goes back to whatever he was doing.  
  
Until one day Ducky pulls him aside with a worried frown and forces him onto a scale.  
  
“You are underweight,” Ducky admonishes, “And honestly Jethro as long as I’ve known you I have yet to see you look unfit, physically. You’re bordering on malnourished.”  
  
“I eat,” Gibbs grumbles.  
  
“Not enough,” Ducky snaps.  
  
“Tony sick you on me?”  
  
“It doesn’t matter!” Ducky snaps, before taking a moment to visibly calm himself, “Your health is paramount and you had best take care of it, Jethro.”  
  
“Alright, alright,” Gibbs growls, waving Ducky off.  
  
The sharp tap to the back of his head is unexpected.  
  
“Hey,” he mutters, rubbing his scalp.  
  
“It always used to work for Mike,” Ducky shrugs, “and I think it’s warranted. You’re not listening, as usual. If you don’t start putting on some weight I’m going to recommend you be taken off active duty.”  
  
Gibbs glares, expression stormy but he nods, knowing better than to take Ducky’s threats lightly.  
  
That night when they get home Gibbs stomps around the house, slamming doors and resolutely not speaking until he accidentally catches sight of Tony’s worried, watery eyes and the determined set of his shoulders.  
  
He’s not giving up on Gibbs.  
  
With a sigh, Gibbs looks away again, rubbing the back of his neck, shaking his head and gesturing uselessly with the other hand as if the words he wants are lingering close in the air, waiting to be gathered.  
  
Tony makes sandwiches and doles out store bought potato salad, sitting close to Gibbs on the couch and feeding it to him. It’s strange and somehow intimate and also weirdly familiar.  
  
“When you had the fever,” Tony says softly, as if guessing at Gibbs’ thoughts, “I practically had to force feed you. You fought me with everything.”  
  
Gibbs smiles, still chewing, “Sounds like me.”  
  
“Yeah,” Tony laughs weakly, “Yeah, it does. You’d mumble crazy shit that I couldn’t understand and that was when you weren’t having nightmares…I don’t know how you lived through that.”  
  
Tony holds up the sandwich and Gibbs takes another bite, keeping his hands in his lap.  
  
“Every sip of water, every bite of food I had to force down your throat and I begged you…I begged you not to die, Gibbs.”  
  
“I remember,” Gibbs nods, “I remember you asking me to stay.”  
  
He glances away and then, keeping his gaze on the floor, opens his mouth.  
  
Tony’s hand is just barely trembling when he raises it this time but he steadies it with a deep breath as Gibbs takes a slightly bigger bite, letting his lips brush against Tony’s fingers.  
  
When they finish eating Gibbs licks Tony’s fingers clean and then licks his way into Tony’s mouth, promising without words that he’s not going anywhere.


	21. Incidents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony brings a hand to the back of Gibbs’ head, cupping his cheek with the other as he kisses him. It’s a deep kiss - engrossing and demanding. It leaves no room for thought or doubt or fear.

His foot slips and he doesn’t quite catch himself in time. Gibbs slams face-down onto the mat, the other agent’s full weight coming down on top of him and where normally he would have wrenched around, using a well-placed elbow to dislodge the other man, he now goes completely still.  
  
“Get off of him!” Tony snarls, making the other agent, Trejo, scramble to his feet.  
  
He’s distantly aware of McGee clearing the area, of Tony hauling him to his feet and leading him out of the gym.  
  
Tony brings him to a bathroom and tells McGee to stand watch at the door.  
  
“Gibbs?”  
  
The tremors start and he shakes his head, licking his lips. His throat feels dry and scratchy, his hands, still taped up for sparring, are trembling as he reaches out to pull Tony closer.  
  
Tony brings a hand to the back of Gibbs’ head, cupping his cheek with the other as he kisses him. It’s a deep kiss - engrossing and demanding. It leaves no room for thought or doubt or fear. Gibbs clings to him, sagging against him.  
  
McGee peeks in, eyes going wide before he quickly, quietly, shuts the door again.  
  
When Tony tries to pull away Gibbs’ grip on him tightens as he chases Tony’s mouth with his own.  
  
“Gibbs,” Tony says firmly, “we have to get back to work.”  
  
Patiently Tony waits as Gibbs visibly struggles with himself.  
  
“Right,” Gibbs nods.  
  
“Whatever you need later,” Tony smiles, pressing their foreheads together.  
  
Gibbs stands back, straightening himself.  
  
On his lunch break – Tony doesn’t try to make him eat, figuring he probably won’t be able to keep it down – Gibbs heads out to a small adult shop in a slummy part of town where he doubts he’ll see anyone he knows.  
  
He spends most of his hour just standing around, holding the cock rings in his hand, trying to get up the courage to walk up to the register. He must look uncomfortable because a petite woman, who may or may not be a stripper, walks up to him with a smile and quirks her head at the two guys behind the counter.  
  
“Benny there used to do gay on straight pornos. He was the straight guy. Chuck is just kind of kinky. Either way, they won’t even blink at you. I mean, you should’ve seen the big group that came in here a month ago getting supplies for an orgy. Now that was a circus.”  
  
For once in his life Gibbs isn’t bothered that somebody didn’t mind their own business. He grabs a couple of bottles of lube and sets them on the counter casually, pulling some cash out of his wallet. The shorter guy - Benny the nametag reads - walks up to him with a big grin.  
  
“Looks like you’re gonna have some fun tonight,” he taps the display with the condoms, “Sure you don’t need some of these?”  
  
“We’re monogamous,” Gibbs finds himself admitting.  
  
“Ah, I like to hear that,” Benny chuckles as he hands Gibbs his change, “You two guys have fun.”  
  
Gibbs raises an eyebrow at him but doesn’t say anything as he retreats with his bag.  
  
He shoves it into the glove compartment and loops around, taking the long way back to work. There’s a large coffee on his desk when he gets back and he sips at it gratefully.  
  
They’re called to the Director’s office. Or rather, Gibbs is called and Tony automatically follows.  
  
If Vance is surprised he doesn’t show it.  
  
“Agent Gibbs, Agent DiNozzo,” Vance pauses, “I heard about the incident this morning.”  
  
Tony turns to Gibbs, hands in his pockets, “I set up an appointment for you to see the shrink tomorrow afternoon, Boss. Like you asked.”  
  
He hadn’t asked but Gibbs nods, “Thanks.”  
  
Vance seems tempted to demand details but only sighs, tossing his toothpick into the garbage.  
  
“Are you alright?”  
  
“Yes, sir,” Gibbs says automatically.  
  
Vance nods and gestures them out. Tony stays where he is, tilting his head at the Director when Gibbs gives him a curious look. Gibbs looks away and nods without question, going back to his desk.  
  
“Agent DiNozzo?”  
  
“You have questions, I can answer them,” Tony says succinctly.  
  
“Is he alright?”  
  
“He’s getting there.”  
  
“Did you really set up an appointment for him?”  
  
“Yes, with the office therapist.”  
  
Vance leans forward, “What happened?”  
  
“Agent Gibbs was pinned on the mat and had a flashback. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a pleasant one.”  
  
With an uneasy frown, Vance taps a finger on his desk.  
  
“He’s one of the most capable agents…one of the most capable _men_ I’ve ever known. I don’t mind admitting that seeing him like this is…disconcerting.”  
  
“Everyone has their breaking point, sir. It was harder for him.”  
  
“How so?”  
  
Tony shifts, glancing down at his expensive shoes, “Gibbs is…rigid in his strength. He doesn’t bend. If you can’t bend you break. Our particular circumstances required more…flexibility.”  
  
Vance regards him with a sweeping gaze, “Do you think that Agent Gibbs should retain his position as lead agent?”  
  
“Yes,” Tony answers without hesitation, “and I’m not saying that I think there won’t be more incidents in the future because I’m positive both of us still have some unpleasant experiences ahead before we can put this completely behind us.”  
  
That makes Tony pause.  
  
“I’m actually not sure we’re ever going to be able to put it completely behind us. But I do know that Gibbs in the field is not Gibbs in the safety of NCIS’s gym or Gibbs in his own living room. He puts on the badge and the gun, there’s no chance of an incident like that happening. He’s too much of a bastard to lose it like that with a suspect.”  
  
“You’re sure of that?”  
  
“Absolutely. He’s more shaken by the fact that he froze up than anything else. He prides himself on not hesitating. And admittedly,” Tony scratches at his neck, giving Vance his best charming little boy smile, “I overreacted a little bit…which probably didn’t help things.”  
  
“You were being protective of Agent Gibbs?” Vance chuckles.  
  
Tony winces a little, “You read the reports?”  
  
All the amusement is gone from Vance’s demeanor, “Yes.”  
  
“That was the sanitized version of events, sir; which isn’t to say that we left out any important details. But I wasn’t personally about to put in an official statement about sobbing my heart out in my Boss’ arms.”  
  
That honesty is almost a physical blow, making Vance lean back in his chair heavily. Tony doesn’t like admitting things like that but he’d rather throw himself under the bus than Gibbs.  
  
“I don’t think I said it before but I’m sorry for what happened to both of you. I’m sorry we couldn’t…”  
  
“It’s alright, sir. We know you tried,” Vance nods and Tony gives him a small smile, “I’m going to get back to work, sir.”  
  
“Of course. Thank you, Agent DiNozzo.”  
  
\--  
  
The ride home is quiet and Tony doesn’t ask any questions when Gibbs pulls the small, black bag out of the glove compartment when they pull into the driveway.  
  
There’s no preamble when they walk in the door. They strip in silence and Tony frowns down at his crotch as Gibbs slips the cock ring on him, looking up with puzzled amusement.  
  
Still he doesn’t ask any questions. This is whatever Gibbs needs.  
  
Gibbs puts the other cock ring on himself and touches Tony’s chest.  
  
Gibbs still can’t go down on him. He can lick at it a little, come along the sides with little sucking kisses but every time he tries to take Tony’s length in his mouth he gags. After throwing up the first two times he tried he had mostly given up on the idea and Tony hasn’t tried to push him; has, in fact, pulled Gibbs off of him more than once.  
  
Tonight Gibbs wants to try again. He sits on the couch and grips Tony’s hips fiercely as he takes the head of Tony’s dick into his mouth. For a moment he just sits there, breathing heavily through his nose until Tony strokes his cheek.  
  
“Maybe just lick a little,” Tony suggests gently.  
  
Gibbs’ tongue darts forward, inadvertently probing the slit which makes Tony gasp. He continues probing, pulling his lips over his teeth as he adds some suction.  
  
“That’s so good,” Tony encourages him, petting his face.  
  
That seems to help, though Gibbs isn’t sure how. He takes in a little more, bobbing his head, leaving Tony’s dick wet with saliva. Tony groans, struggling to stand absolutely still.  
  
Gibbs pulls off wetly, mouth red and shiny from saliva as he grins up at Tony.  
  
“Chalk one up for the DiNozzo family jewels.”  
  
“You better be planning to do more than spit polish them,” Tony smiles back.  
  
“Gonna need you on the bed on your back.”  
  
Tony hauls Gibbs to his feet, kissing him thoroughly as he backs him towards and then up the stairs.  
  
“We’re gonna bust our asses,” Gibbs complains laughingly as he stumbles up the last few steps.  
  
But they make it to the bed without incident. Gibbs takes Tony’s dick into his mouth again, fingering himself as he gets Tony wet. He doesn’t quite prepare himself enough, grunting as he sinks down on Tony’s prick.  
  
Tony tries to slow him down, curling up, using his thighs and his strong hands to keep Gibbs from going too fast.  
  
“Easy…take it easy,” Tony soothes.  
  
The urgency is back, though, the darkness creeping in.   
  
“Tony,” he growls but Tony is immovable.  
  
“Just go easy,” Tony says firmly, “you don’t want to hurt me, do you? You’re so tight…”  
  
It’s a weak argument. Tight heat feels good around your dick but Gibbs slows down with great effort.  
  
He rides Tony hard until his thighs are trembling and his knee is aching, until Tony’s wincing because there’s not enough lube. The friction is painful now and Tony grips Gibbs’ hips with almost bruising force, trying to slow him down.  
  
“Gibbs…” Tony says through gritted teeth, “Wait.”  
  
Gibbs won’t let up though and Tony finally grabs him hard, tossing him off.  
  
For long minutes they lay there staring at each other, Gibbs’ breath coming out of his mouth in harsh gasps. Slowly, Tony reaches out, pulling Gibbs close again, kissing him gently.  
  
He rolls Gibbs over onto his stomach and with tender fingers gets Gibbs nice and slick; enters him slowly, tangling their fingers and holding Gibbs down with his body.  
  
“It’s ok,” he murmurs when Gibbs tenses, “It’s just me. It’s always just been me.”  
  
It’s slow, tentative, like when they first started exploring each other’s battered bodies. Tony’s thrusts are gentle but when he senses it becoming too much he angles his hips, reaches around to remove the cock ring and speeds up, bringing Gibbs off quickly.  
  
As Gibbs comes down he realizes Tony has gone still and waits for him to finish.  
  
“Tony?”  
  
“I need a second,” Tony breathes, sounding slightly strangled, “the noises you make, Gibbs…God, can you hear yourself? You’re amazing.”  
  
Gibbs licks his lips and squeezes Tony’s fingers, gaze soft and unfocused as he stares at their joined hands.  
  
Finally Tony begins thrusting again, tossing aside his own cock ring, kissing at whatever flesh he can find – shoulder, neck, ear, cheek – making Gibbs gasp and shudder with aftershocks of sensation.  
  
He feels pinned, claimed, consumed, wanted; completely overwhelmed with Tony in and on him. There’s no escape, no need to escape which is possibly the more frightening idea.  
  
There’s nowhere for him to go. He can only lay here and allow Tony to lay claim in a bed that has become theirs’.  
  
“Wait…” Gibbs bites out.  
  
“You need a minute?” Tony asks breathily, hips instantly going still.  
  
“…can you say something? Need to hear you talk.”  
  
Tony kisses the corner of his mouth.  
  
“I love you,” Tony says softly, hips resuming their pace, “I um…I’m no good at dirty, pillow talk so I hope you didn’t want that.”  
  
“No,” Gibbs shakes his head, pressing his face into the comforter.  
  
“I was watching you this morning, the way you move. You’re really graceful, like…” Tony’s breath and hips stutter, “like a predator. Sometimes I expect you to roar or growl for real, you know?”  
  
Gibbs squeezes his eyes tightly shut, trying to ignore the sting in them.  
  
“I guess I never noticed how handsome you are until recently. I knew it, you know, the…the way you notice things kind of…distantly…how you’ll…you’ll realize you knew something all along?”  
  
Everything starts to spiral quietly out of control and their bodies begin to shake and tremble. Tony’s spitting out whatever thought he can grasp and Gibbs is trying to control his breathing, to stop the constrictions in his chest.  
  
“I think I loved you all along…I just…I just…” Tony’s voice gets high and strangled, “I just never realized I knew.”  
  
He cums hard with a long, shuddering groan as Gibbs quietly cries into the sheets. As soon as Tony regains some of his senses he wraps his arms around Gibbs, kissing his shoulder and whispering comforting words in his ear. He’s still fully seated inside of Gibbs, won’t let him go, won’t let him try to hide.  
  
“Love you,” Tony murmurs, “I love you.”  
  
When everything finally subsides and settles Tony pulls out and they climb under the blankets, falling straight to sleep.  
  
Tonight there are no dreams.


	22. Pretend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m not full-figured,” Tony glowers, “I’m Amazonian.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weirdly enough this was my favourite chapter from this series. Maybe because Gibbs calls Tony "names".

Tony’s been in the bathroom for almost three hours and Gibbs is getting annoyed. It’s almost ten, they have work in the morning and he’s tired.  
  
Just as he’s sitting up to go see what’s taking so long Tony walks in and Gibbs stares, expression going soft.  
  
“Hey,” Tony says softly, looking anxious and a little sick.  
  
“Hey,” Gibbs says back.  
  
They stay like that for a minute until Gibbs finally holds out a hand and Tony carefully picks his way forward, a little wobbly in the high heels.  
  
The strangest thing about it is how put together it is. It’s not like the scraggly blonde wig and the ugly dress their tormentors had found, make-up messy and unflattering on Tony’s handsome features.  
  
The blouse is olive green and the skirt is some kind of light brown faux suede. It’s surprisingly attractive on Tony’s frame, clinging in all the right places. The wig is Tony’s natural hair color, falling just below his shoulders and framing his face attractively. Gibbs sees the faint sleek shine of stockings encasing Tony’s legs, the dark brown patent pumps gleaming in the low light from the bedside lamp. The make-up is nice too, natural looking, pretty. It makes Tony’s eyes greener, his mouth fuller, highlighting his cheek bones.  
  
Gibbs slides his hands up Tony’s thighs, smirking with surprise when he feels the teddy, fingers finding Tony’s ass cheeks bare.  
  
“A thong?” he raises his eyebrows, lifting Tony’s skirt to take in the sight of the red lace.  
  
“Surprisingly hard to find in my size,” Tony says dryly.   
  
“Think Abby would say something about the impossible standards of the fashion industry,” he squeezes Tony’s ass, “they don’t appreciate full-figured girls.”  
  
“I’m not full-figured,” Tony glowers, “I’m Amazonian.”  
  
“You’re a goddess,” Gibbs grins.  
  
Tony snorts, “Come on, I feel ridiculous.”  
  
Gibbs presses his cheek to Tony’s hip, gazing up at him seriously, “You look beautiful.”  
  
The blush is more attractive than the make-up could ever hope to be and Tony glances away.  
  
“You’re just saying that because you like women. If I had a sex change…”  
  
“God, don’t even joke about it,” Gibbs winces, reaching up to cup Tony’s dick protectively, “I like your dick.”  
  
“It’s ok for other people but not me?” Tony laughs.  
  
“Yeah, well those people need it. You don’t.”  
  
“Wow, Gibbs. That was so sensitive,” Tony says, sounding genuinely impressed.  
  
Gibbs glares a little, “Abby’s been making me look at gay sex ed. Don’t get why transgender’s included in that. Far as I can tell most of them are straight.”  
  
“Wait…so…what?” Tony frowns prettily and Gibbs blinks, thinking, _shit, I’ve got it bad_.  
  
“I’ll have Abby send you the links.”  
  
Tony makes a face, looking a little uncomfortable, “So you don’t wish I was a woman?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“But…”  
  
“Tony,” Gibbs groans.  
  
“It’s a valid question, Gibbs,” Tony pouts, “I mean, we never would have done this if…”  
  
“Tony…nothing good should have been able to come out of that situation. How I got lucky enough to get stuck with you is beyond me.”  
  
Tony takes Gibbs’ face in his hands, smiling down at him fondly, “Christ, we’re fucked up.”  
  
“Rather just be fucked,” Gibbs grins.  
  
“Well, I’m the girl. You have to do all the work tonight.”  
  
With a soft chuckle, Gibbs nuzzles Tony’s palm, “Alright, baby, let me get one last look at you.”  
  
Tony raises an eyebrow at the endearment but stands back without protest, skirt slipping back down. It’s such a modest outfit, something that, if Tony were a woman, he could wear it to the office and not get a second glance.  
  
Or, that’s wrong. He’d get a lot of glances but not because the outfit was too sexy.  
  
“You really went all out,” Gibbs remarks, patting his own knee.  
  
Tony’s other eyebrow shoots up but he perches on Gibbs’ lap, wrapping his arms around Gibbs’ neck.  
  
“You really like it?”  
  
“Like you better without anything on at all,” Gibbs smirks, sliding his hand up Tony’s thigh and fondling him through the red lace of the thong, “but this proves what I said before.”  
  
“Before?” Tony gasps, eyes fluttering shut and brow furrowing slightly.  
  
“How you’d look good in anything. You’re always beautiful.”  
  
“Still not ever putting on a clown wig.”  
  
“Good thing I don’t have a fetish.”  
  
“Good…thing,” Tony pants out.  
  
Gibbs throws them back on the bed, pressing his leg between Tony’s and kissing him breathless. When he pulls back there’s soft golden-brown lipstick smeared all over their mouths and Gibbs gracefully climbs off the bed, holding Tony’s gaze with a predatory smirk. He slips off the pumps, carelessly tossing them aside, pulling the panties down and pushing Tony’s legs up.  
  
“What…” Tony begins, watching Gibbs duck his head much further south than anticipated.  
  
“Sshh…gonna get your pussy wet, honey,” Gibbs rumbles, “Gonna make you feel so good.”  
  
“Oh God,” Tony breathes as Gibbs licks a stripe over his hole, skin jumping.  
  
Tony makes hot, high noises, body arching under Gibbs’ tongue and touch. He’s completely bare, no hair anywhere and he tastes clean. Gibbs sucks and licks, thrusting his tongue as far as he can inside of Tony until Tony’s pressing lube into his hand – flavored, which Gibbs doesn’t particularly like but better than the taste of chemicals.  
  
He fingers and licks until Tony’s a trembling mess beneath him.  
  
“Got anymore of that lipstick?” he asks, voice deep with need.  
  
Tony produces a tube from seemingly nowhere with a lusty smirk. He reapplies and then frowns as Gibbs takes it from him, putting some on his own mouth.  
  
“What…?” Tony laughs.  
  
Gibbs just takes Tony’s dick in his mouth, sucking hard, eyes full of mischief as he continues fingering Tony open. He holds Tony’s gaze, mouth dark from more than lipstick as he leaves smears all over Tony’s dick.  
  
He doesn’t stop at three fingers. He keeps on until he gets a fourth in and when Tony makes a high, keening noise he shushes him gently.  
  
“You’re doing so good, baby. You’re gonna be so loose for me. So sweet. You ok?”  
  
Tony nods, hands fisting his skirt, head thrown back to expose the long line of his throat.  
  
“Gibbs,” he breathes, “God, Gibbs, please….”  
  
“That’s it,” Gibbs smiles, “so beautiful.”  
  
“I need…I need…”  
  
“Tell me what you need, sweetheart.”  
  
“Need you in me, please, please, please…Christ,” Tony begs, “Now.”  
  
Gibbs hauls Tony to the edge of the bed and Tony wraps his legs around Gibbs’ waist and pulls Gibbs down, clinging to him with shaking arms as Gibbs enters him.  
  
“Mm…God, so good,” Gibbs moans, “So loose. Love you, baby.”  
  
“I love you too…please… _please_.”  
  
With a soft kiss to Tony’s cheek Gibbs begins thrusting steadily. The long hair of the wig is sticking to Tony’s face, the sheen of sweat somehow making Tony even more attractive.  
  
“Look at me, sweetheart,” Gibbs says, voice low and deep.  
  
Tony’s eyes slit open, pupils blown wide as he’s rocked with each thrust, arms around Gibbs’ neck.  
  
“That’s it,” Gibbs smiles tenderly, “wanna look in your eyes when I make you cum.”  
  
Gibbs changes the angle of his next thrust and Tony gasps, eyes going briefly wide and then nearly shutting again as he groans loudly.  
  
“ _Yes_.”  
  
Gibbs nods, mouth going a little slack as Tony tightens around him.  
  
“Is that good, honey? Tell me how good it is.”  
  
“So good,” Tony breathes, voice getting a little higher, “so good, I…God, don’t ask me to think. Too good to think.”  
  
“Good,” Gibbs grins.  
  
Two more hard thrusts and Tony orgasms, dick pulsing out spurts of cum that stain the skirt. His whole body shakes, thighs trembling as his breath tears out of his lungs.  
  
“Gibbs,” he gasps.  
  
And then Gibbs is cumming too, pressing his face into Tony’s chest, distantly thankful that Tony skipped the fake cleavage.  
  
Gibbs pulls out and they hold each other for a while, Gibbs running his hands over Tony’s body in what might be gratitude.  
  
“Come on, sweetheart,” he urges, pulling an increasingly pliant Tony into a sitting position, “let’s get you cleaned up.”  
  
“Mmm…” Tony gives him a sated smile, “I like that.”  
  
“Like what?” Gibbs asks softly, laying tender kisses all over Tony’s face.  
  
“You calling me names,” Tony opens his eyes, “If um…if you want to…”  
  
Gibbs cups his cheek and leans closer to nuzzle his ear, “Bathroom, baby. Then bed.”  
  
Tony’s eyes are wide and adoring when Gibbs pulls back and it makes him pause, laying one last close-mouthed kiss on Tony’s forehead.  
  
It’s strange how naked Tony feels as he strips down. Gibbs has seen him naked more times than he can count, has touched him everywhere, kissed him everywhere. He shouldn’t feel any more exposed than he usually does but as he sheds the sex-stained skirt and blouse, the stockings and the teddy, the now messy wig, he can’t help but feel a little shy. Tony keeps his gaze trained firmly away as he steps into the shower, washing efficiently as Gibbs brushes his teeth, scrubs his face in the sink and takes a leak.  
  
When he steps out Gibbs glances up and does a double take, eyes sweeping over his body.  
  
“So beautiful,” Gibbs murmurs, reaching out to pull him closer.  
  
He runs his fingers through Tony’s hair, then smoothes them down Tony’s bare chest and stomach, kneeling down to rub his cheek against Tony’s equally bare groin.  
  
“You don’t have to,” Gibbs says in a voice heavy with lust, “But I like this.”  
  
Strong hands roam down Tony’s thighs and calves, squeezing as they come back up to rest on Tony’s ass. Tony brushes his fingers over Gibbs hair and then pulls him to his feet.  
  
“So if I kept this up…” Tony grins, looking up at Gibbs through still wet lashes, “that would be a big turn on for you?”  
  
Gibbs swallows and nods, unable to stop his hands from roaming.  
  
“God,” Gibbs groans as he lifts Tony’s arm a little, “you even shaved your pits?”  
  
“Hairy armpits are unladylike,” Tony responds primly, eyes twinkling.  
  
“A gorgeous cock is unladylike too,” Gibbs smirks, rubbing at Tony’s bare groin some more, cupping his hairless balls.  
  
“Guess it’s good I’m not a lady,” Tony shrugs, shivering a little as Gibbs gropes him.  
  
Gibbs kisses him, “Yeah, it is.”  
  
They curl up together under the covers and kiss some more.  
  
“Goodnight, sweetheart,” Gibbs whispers in Tony’s ear.  
  
“Night, Gibbs,” Tony smiles.  
  
\--  
  
Gibbs digs through one of Tony’s dresser drawers, smirking when he finds what he wants. As he styles his hair Tony glances at Gibbs, not really paying him much mind as he walks into the bathroom until Gibbs presses up close behind him, holding the underwear up on one finger. He smoothes a hand over Tony’s bare chest and abdomen, skates the pads of his fingers over the skin just above Tony’s dick, all of it hairless still all these weeks later.  
  
They’re black boxer briefs, quite possibly the nicest pair that Tony owns – cotton but sinfully soft and expensive.  
  
“Wear these for me,” he purrs in Tony’s ear.  
  
Tony shivers a little, nodding.  
  
Gibbs turns him around and kneels down, helping Tony step into them. He pulls them up, adjusting Tony’s dick as Tony bites back a groan. When he stands he brings his hands around to Tony’s ass, squeezing firmly and Tony ducks in for a kiss, using his forearms and wrists to pull Gibbs close, hands still covered in styling product.  
  
“Call me names,” Tony smiles, eyes closed as he slides his jaw along Gibbs’.  
  
“What like…sweetheart?” Gibbs laughs.  
  
“Yeah, like that,” Tony nods, amused by Gibbs’ amusement.  
  
“Want me to tell you how beautiful you are, baby? So fucking beautiful. Love your eyes and your smile,” Gibbs ducks his head and kisses Tony’s chest, “Love your sweet heart.”  
  
The second alarm goes off, Tony’s addition to their morning routine and Gibbs grumbles.  
  
“See you at work, sweetheart,” he says, giving Tony’s cheek one final caress.  
  
When Tony walks in fifteen minutes after he does, twenty minutes before either of them actually need to be there, he gives Gibbs a wicked grin. Gibbs holds doors open for him all day and pays for his take-out when it arrives. Tony rolls his eyes but smiles his thanks anyway.  
  
On their lunch break Gibbs drives them out to the back of some abandoned, empty strip mall and fucks Tony in the backseat, using the soft black, cotton underwear to fist Tony’s dick.  
  
For the first time their sex has nothing to do with driving away bad memories.


	23. Bordering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He only feels safe. He thinks maybe he should feel nervous or restrained but there’s only an overwhelming sense of safety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: The author is EVIL. Seriously. Kink and language. A bit OOC in some places.  
> Author's Notes: Getting better.

The click of the lock on the door is loud in the dim silence of the house. The soft blindfold blocks out what little light there is as Tony ties it snugly over his eyes and then quickly strips them both down. He’s pushed onto some blankets and cushions on the floor, his hands pulled behind his back and tied with the same soft fabric as the blindfold.  
  
Tony comes around to his front, pulling their bodies flush, gripping Gibbs’ ass and latching on to his neck with a wet, hot mouth.  
  
He only feels safe. He thinks maybe he should feel nervous or restrained but there’s only an overwhelming sense of safety.  
  
“Remember what I said?”  
  
“About?” Tony asks huskily.  
  
“Spanking.”  
  
A sharp swat makes him start and moan.  
  
“Like that?” Tony grins in his ear.  
  
Gibbs turns his head, capturing Tony’s lips in a bruising kiss.  
  
“Harder,” he growls.  
  
A firmer smack that makes Gibbs’ dick almost instantly hard has Tony chuckling.  
  
“Well, I think you like it.”  
  
Tony pulls away and Gibbs immediately drops his head, raising his ass in the air. He expects Tony to settle by his side or behind him but instead he crouches over Gibbs, straddling his back in a position that’s just shy of awkward.  
  
Gibbs quickly comes to understand why. This position affords Tony’s strikes precision and power, each blow landing with delicious force and accuracy. Gibbs worries his lower lip, sucking in sharp breaths then exhaling, slow and shuddering.  
  
Tony takes his time, pausing between each strike, hand resting on warm flesh. Gibbs wonders how it looks, the image it must make. If his ass is pink or red, the way Tony’s still too pale hand looks resting there in contrast.   
  
The first time he cries out, dick painfully hard, Tony’s hand goes still as he lays a kiss on one hot cheek.  
  
“Do you want me to keep going?”  
  
“Yes,” Gibbs nods, breathing ragged.  
  
He can’t stop after that. Every blow wrenches a noise out of him until he thinks he might cum just from this.  
  
Then Tony climbs off of him, rolls him onto his side and ties his legs together at the knees and ankles. He brings Gibbs back up onto his knees and slowly – impossibly, achingly, torturously slow – he pushes his way in. He’ll get an inch, pull back to add more lube and then slowly push back in again until Gibbs is biting at the blankets, groaning and growling with frustration.  
  
Tony rubs his lower back soothingly, making shushing noises.  
  
“Just be patient. Almost there.”  
  
When he’s fully seated inside of Gibbs he pushes his fingers into Gibbs’ mouth, moaning softly as Gibbs sucks on them enthusiastically.  
  
He can’t give it to Gibbs hard and fast like this, Tony has to balance for both of them so he keeps his thrusts slow and deep. He pulls Gibbs up into his lap, making Gibbs lean back against him so that Tony can fist Gibbs’ dick.  
  
“Come on…I can feel how hard you are…”  
  
The heat and throb of his ass is more pronounced in this position and Gibbs moans loudly around Tony’s fingers as his orgasm begins to tear through him. Tony rides him out and then gently withdraws, helping Gibbs lay on his side. Gibbs feels Tony move away as he tries to catch his breath.  
  
“Tony?”  
  
“It’s ok,” Tony calls from the kitchen.  
  
A moment later Tony’s kneeling in front of him again, untying his legs. When he tries to untie Gibbs’ hands Gibbs shakes his head.  
  
“I like it.”  
  
“Ok,” Tony says softly.  
  
He helps Gibbs sit up, kissing him a little before holding a glass of orange juice to his mouth. Gibbs licks his lips once he’s drunk his fill, listening to Tony finish off the glass in one gulp.  
  
“That mean we’re not done?”  
  
“It means I needed a drink before I finished fucking you through the floor.”  
  
Tony straddles his lap for a moment, holding his head and kissing him thoroughly.  
  
When he’s bent over again Tony adds more lube and sets up a hard, fast past that makes Gibbs orgasm all over again, dick twitching with the effort to cum. He doesn’t know how Tony’s still going, his ass is going to be stretched for a week as it is and Tony’s still fucking him, still touching his body in a way that’s almost reverent.  
  
“Tony…”  
  
A desperate moan assaults his ears, thrusts becoming harder.  
  
“Come on, baby. Cum for me,” Gibbs growls.  
  
And then even harder, faster until finally Tony’s spilling his seed deep within Gibbs’ body, breath beating against Gibbs’ back.  
  
Tony collapses on top of him, body shaking as he makes inarticulate noises of satisfaction. He unties Gibbs and pulls off the blindfold and Gibbs is surprised to find that the thing he misses about the blindness – besides the fact that he misses anything about it at all – is the intimacy it brought. Tony’s touch meant more when he couldn’t see – because he couldn’t see.  
  
“Think I might be a little kinky,” Gibbs chuckles.  
  
“You liked all that?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
They sprawl out, Tony smoothing a lazy hand over his backside.  
  
“So you’ve never done that before?”  
  
“Had a wife who used to smack my ass a lot…remind me who I belonged to. Never brought it to bed though.”  
  
Tony caresses Gibbs’ ass, flesh hot and sensitive.  
  
“That’s a shame,” Tony gives a little squeeze and grins as Gibbs moans, “I guess I’ll have to make up for lost time.”  
  
Gibbs peers up at him with faintly narrowed eyes, head resting on his folded arms.  
  
“I’m gonna have trouble sitting at work, aren’t I?”  
  
“You’re going to have trouble sitting anywhere,” Tony promises, “and you’re going to love every second of it.”  
  
“Shit,” Gibbs mutters.  
  
“Just think about it. I’ll bend you over the kitchen table in the morning…not tomorrow morning but some morning…and spank you awake. Better than coffee, Gibbs. You can go to work, ass hot and throbbing. Maybe I can top you off in the elevator, you know, when you need a fix. Imagine that - standing with your hands against the wall, pants and boxers down around your ankles. Maybe I’d make you strip down completely. Maybe I’d make you stand there completely naked in the elevator while I spanked your already red, throbbing ass some more.”  
  
“Thought you weren’t any good at dirty talk?” Gibbs chokes out, looking beyond turned on.  
  
With a soft smirk, Tony squeezes Gibbs’ ass again, “That wasn’t really dirty, Gibbs. I was just making promises.”  
  
“Christ.”  
  
They fall asleep in the living room in their nest of blankets and cushions, curling around each other feeling sated and safe.  
  
In the morning Gibbs kisses Tony awake and smiles at the pleasant soreness of his ass that will linger throughout the day.  
  
They’re about to walk out the door when Tony grabs him again, grabbing Gibbs’ wrists and holding them behind his back as he kisses him possessively.  
  
The feeling of safety and belonging makes his knees buckle a little but Tony supports him, holding him tight.  
  
As they walk out the door the feeling lingers, stronger than the physical reminder of their coupling and Gibbs smiles at Tony as he starts the car, reaching over to squeeze the other man’s thigh.  
  
“Hey, sweetheart.”  
  
“Yeah?” Tony grins, looking a little bashful.  
  
“That’s it. Just hey, sweetheart.”


	24. Made To Heal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What do you need me to do?”  
> “Just love me.”  
> With a soft smile Gibbs kisses him, “Well hell, that’s easy. I do that all the time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: The author is EVIL. Seriously. A bit OOC in some places.  
> Author's Notes: Schmoop, h/c.

His ass is throbbing pleasantly from the spanking when he feels a splash of something dry on his rump and then Tony’s hot hand smoothing over his skin.  
  
  
  
Gibbs sniffs and then makes a face.  
  
“Is that baby powder?” he laughs.  
  
Tony pats one ass cheek gently in response but doesn’t stop sprinkling the powder on Gibbs’ skin and spreading it gently.  
  
“Any particular reason?” Gibbs asks, rolling over on his back, spreading and lifting his legs.  
  
With a faint grimace, Tony nods as he puts the powder all over Gibbs’ dick, balls, asshole and thighs.  
  
“I don’t have to call you daddy, do I?”  
  
Tony shakes his head and smirks, continuing to pat the powder into Gibbs’ skin.  
  
“…Tony, look at me, sweetheart.”  
  
It takes a second but Tony finally manages to wrench his gaze up from what his hands are doing to meet Gibbs’ eyes.  
  
“Sometimes…it would just be Little Willy who took me out to play,” Tony says softly, “and when it was just him he always smelled like baby powder. He’d…he’d tell me how much he liked me. How good I felt. He’d try to make it feel good for me then and that…that was even worse than…”  
  
“Sshh…come here.”  
  
Tony settles into the cradle of Gibbs’ hips and arms.  
  
“I don’t know if it was really baby powder. It might have been some girlfriend’s perfume or something but that’s what it smelled like.”  
  
This is the first time they’ve really talked about any of it with each other. Tony had never told him about what happened during any of the dozens of times he’d been taken and Gibbs had been left behind.  
  
Gibbs rolls them over and grabs the lube from the side table, tenderly stretching Tony open.  
  
“What do you need me to do?”  
  
“Just love me.”  
  
With a soft smile Gibbs kisses him, “Well hell, that’s easy. I do that all the time.”  
  
“Yeah,” Tony swallows thickly, “I know.”  
  
Tony’s body accepts him eagerly, hungrily, drawing him in to tight heat. He thumbs at one of Tony’s nipples and kisses him; Tony’s legs wrapped tightly around his waist, heels digging into Gibbs’ still tender ass. The kiss is engrossing, wet, so sweet it almost makes his teeth ache.  
  
He cums first – he was already close from getting spanked – and he pulls out; crawling down and sucking Tony’s dick into his mouth easily, sliding fingers into Tony’s slick hole to search out that spot.  
  
Tony cums down his throat and Gibbs sucks him until he’s soft, before resting his head on Tony’s thigh, fingers still buried in Tony’s ass.  
  
“Ok, sweetheart?” he asks sleepily.  
  
“Yeah,” Tony mumbles.  
  
“Should get cleaned up.”  
  
“Mmm…”  
  
They trudge to the bathroom, eyes closed as they let their soapy hands roam over each other’s bodies. Gibbs pulls Tony close, holding him in the warm spray as they sway softly.  
  
They climb into bed, still a little damp, bodies warm with the heat of the water, Gibbs’ ass still a bit red from his spanking. Sleep comes easy in each other’s arms.  
  
Gibbs adds the baby powder to his routines. He pats a little under his arms in the mornings after putting on his deodorant and Tony buries his face in Gibbs pits a couple of times those first few days, sniffing and smiling.  
  
He’s always pleased when Gibbs does anything for him though. No matter how simple.  
  
Thankfully it’s never been the simple things Gibbs has had a problem with.


	25. Motel Room Fantasy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yeah?” Gibbs barks, ignoring Tony’s amused smirk.  
> “Um…Boss? Is everything ok? I thought I heard someone yell,” McGee asks feebly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: The author is EVIL. Seriously. Language. A bit OOC in some places.

In the diner Gibbs sits and watches his team laugh with a small smile. He turns the key card around in his fingers, occasionally catching Tony’s eye across the table.  
  
Tony fiddles with his wallet and Gibbs gives him a slight nod - between the two of them they have enough lube.  
  
As soon as the motel door clicks shut Tony is on his knees, patiently waiting, watching Gibbs with wide eyes.  
  
Gibbs frees himself and gently takes Tony’s head in his hands, guiding his dick into Tony’s mouth. He’s never fucked anyone’s face before. The control makes him a little heady, Tony’s utter surrender sending a faint thrill up his spine. He cards his fingers through Tony’s hair and carefully thrusts into his mouth, using all of his restraint to not to go too fast or too deep.  
  
“Suck…suck a little harder.”  
  
Tony’s cheeks hollow out as he obliges, fingers coming up to tease Gibbs’ balls.  
  
“Yeah…Oh, God.”  
  
A slick finger seeks entrance and Gibbs spreads his legs a little, trying not to break his rhythm. When he can manage to tear his gaze away from the ceiling and look down at Tony’s mouth around his dick, one hand buried between Gibbs’ legs it’s all he can do to keep from cumming on the spot. He pulls out completely and looks at Tony’s red, swollen lips, his dick leaving a trail of spit and cum.  
  
He cards his fingers through Tony’s hair again and Tony’s eyes flutter shut with the gentle caresses.  
  
“Can you take me deep?”  
  
“Can take you any way you want,” Tony says roughly, sounding well-fucked.  
  
Gibbs bites his lip, “Don’t wanna hurt you.”  
  
“I trust you,” Tony smiles, twisting his fingers inside Gibbs.  
  
With a gasp Gibbs nods and gently pushes back into Tony’s mouth, going a little deeper, a little faster. Tony’s fingering speeds up and ultimately it’s him that takes Gibbs’ deep, swallowing around his length until he cums.  
  
He slides to his knees, Tony helping him down onto the cheap carpet.  
  
The first push into his pliant body is incredible. They’re still mostly dressed and where bare skin does meet it seems more electric, more tantalizing. There’s still a stretch, a little burn but Tony doesn’t take his time. He hauls Gibbs into the position he wants him in and pounds into him.  
  
He feels hot and loose and delicious and so many other things he never thought a man could make him feel. So many other things he never thought he wanted to feel. It’s all Gibbs can do to keep his face out of the carpet as his body is rocked with the force of Tony’s thrusts.  
  
Tony nails Gibbs’ prostate hard and Gibbs shouts and Tony cums.  
  
Seconds later, before they can enjoy the afterglow, Gibbs’ phone rings and he fumbles to free it from his jacket pocket, Tony’s dick still deep inside him, throbbing faintly.  
  
“McGee,” he says.  
  
Tony pulls out carefully and flips the TV on, turns it up a little and nods.  
  
“Yeah?” Gibbs barks, ignoring Tony’s amused smirk.  
  
“Um…Boss? Is everything ok? I thought I heard someone yell,” McGee asks feebly.  
  
“Stubbed my goddamned toe,” Gibbs snarls, “DiNozzo, I thought I told you to turn that shit down?”  
  
“Sorry, Boss!” Tony grins.  
  
“Uh, well um…”  
  
“Hang up, McGee,” Gibbs orders, gentling his tone a little.  
  
“Sorry, Boss,” McGee says, hanging up quickly.  
  
Tony turns down the bed farthest from the air conditioner, Gibbs opens the window with a fond smirk and they strip down.  
  
They lay back, Tony propped up against the headboard and the pillows of both beds, Gibbs comfortably relaxed against his chest as they watch a movie neither of them particularly cares about with the warm, summer night breeze coming in from the window, heavy blackout curtains protecting them from sight.  
  
Tony reaches down, lifting one of Gibbs’ legs, fingers trailing down his thigh until he’s slipping them back into still slick heat. Gibbs sucks in a soft breath, body moving into it briefly before he relaxes again, head resting on Tony’s shoulder, eyes half-lidded.  
  
Neither of them will get it up again tonight and Tony won’t try to make Gibbs cum again. He just thrusts his fingers in and out of Gibbs lazily, a sweet, pointless pleasure. Gibbs squeezes Tony’s thighs once, humming faintly as he lifts his other leg, planting his feet on the mattress to give Tony better access. He loves the way it feels, the way it claims him. The way Tony can say without a word, with only his touch, that Gibbs is his – made for his pleasure and use and love.  
  
He tilts his head back for a kiss and Tony obliges him, kissing him and fingering him until the movie’s over.  
  
“We should get some sleep.”  
  
Gibbs grunts and then grumbles as Tony pulls out and away, sliding out from under him. He’s so relaxed that he just sinks into the pillows, listening to Tony wash his hands and shut off the lights.  
  
He smirks at Tony’s chuckle of amusement, not bothering to open his eyes as Tony grabs the top sheet from the other bed, hauling Gibbs up with a grunt as he settles behind him again, covering them both. Tony’s arms wrap around him as Tony nuzzles at his ear and temple, kissing the hinge of his jaw.  
  
Though he doesn’t remember falling asleep his dreams are sweet.


	26. Postcard Postscript

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oo…maybe it was dipped in anthrax…” she says with a little too much enthusiasm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: The author is EVIL. Language. A bit OOC in some places.  
> Author's Notes: So what happened with Robinson?

It’s a sunny beach scene and Gibbs frowns at it, lifting his head without taking his eyes off the postcard.  
  
“I know anybody who’s on vacation?”  
  
Tony’s head shoots up and he’s immediately on his feet, snapping on some gloves.  
  
“Don’t touch it.”  
  
Gibbs raises his hands and backs away from his mail.  
  
“Doubt you’re gonna get any prints off that,” he says.  
  
“For all I know it was dipped in anthrax, I’m not taking any chances,” Tony growls as he scoops up all the mail on Gibbs’ desk.  
  
“You’re getting paranoid,” Gibbs smirks.  
  
“Whatever,” Tony snaps, dumping everything into an evidence bag, “Come on, let’s go see Abby.”  
  
Gibbs grabs his coffee and shrugs a shoulder at McGee who’s watching with amusement. The team’s gotten used to the slight shift, to the way Tony snarls more and Gibbs laughs more. Gibbs is still firmly in charge but Tony takes more liberties, pushes harder.  
  
With a teasing smirk Gibbs will suggest that maybe it’s time for Tony to get his own team and Tony will snap back that maybe it is - neither of them puts in recommendations or files paperwork.  
  
“Hey, Abbs,” Gibbs nods.  
  
“Gibbs! To what do I owe the pleasure?”  
  
Tony tosses the bag onto her table.  
  
“Suspicious postcard,” he glares at the mail.  
  
“Oo…maybe it was dipped in anthrax…” she says with a little too much enthusiasm.  
  
Tony points at her with a raised eyebrow and Gibbs sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.  
  
“Ok, it says…” Abby’s eyebrows shoot up, “Hope you’re doing well. Sorry for everything. Brother’s ok. Don’t bother looking, you won’t find me. Signed, R.”  
  
Gibbs’ amusement disappears and Tony’s annoyance turns into rage.  
  
“What are the chances you can find out where that postcard came from?” Gibbs asks.  
  
Abby shrugs, “There’s no guarantee where he mailed it out from is where he purchased it and it’s passed…dozens of hands. Gone through machinery, been mixed with tons of other mail…”  
  
She looks up and gives them an apologetic smile, “I’m going to try really hard.”  
  
Then her face and voice take on a tinge of vengeful anger, “I want him to rot.”  
  
“See what you can do,” Gibbs says, kissing her cheek, “Come on, Tony.”  
  
“I…” Tony starts to argue.  
  
“DiNozzo,” Gibbs barks, “Elevator, _now_.”  
  
Tony throws the gloves into the trash with more force than necessary and turns on his heel, stalking off towards the hall.  
  
“Is he ok?” Abby nearly whispers.  
  
“I’ll take care of him, Abbs, don’t worry.”  
  
“Ok…but who’s going to take care of you, Gibbs?”  
  
He blinks and then smiles, nodding after Tony, “He will.”  
  
She frowns a little and then nods, smiling faintly, “Ok.”  
  
“Did you want me to just stand in here, Boss, or are we going somewhere?” Tony calls.  
  
“You’re in time-out!” Gibbs snaps back, winking at Abby before striding towards the elevators.  
  
As soon as the doors close Gibbs leans in and presses a quick kiss to Tony’s cheek.  
  
“Whatever,” Tony sighs with exasperation.  
  
Gibbs snorts, “You gonna pout all day?”  
  
“I’m not pouting!” Tony exclaims.  
  
“Ok.”  
  
“I’m _not_.”  
  
Two days later a package comes for Tony with no return address. Abby opens this one as well and the mountain of evidence inside makes Gibbs grip Tony’s arm to keep himself upright. There are photos, names, addresses, security feeds, documents and just about every other thing they could need to catch the bastards who had tortured them. They had been smuggling weapons – Jameson, Robinson’s brother, had been the MP who had gotten caught in the middle, too afraid to speak out against the others. On a small scrap of paper Robinson apologizes for not bringing the doctor back for Gibbs – she’d been shipped out for a tour of duty in Afghanistan and he didn’t know who else to call. He explains how he lied and told the others that he would finish Gibbs and Tony off – both Gibbs and Tony understand how much he risked to do so.  
  
When they bring in the last of the perps – of their abusers - Tony is grinning broadly.  
  
“Maybe we won’t kill him after all, Boss.”


	27. Better Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just them, no ghosts haunting the bedroom tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: The author is EVIL. Language. A bit OOC in some places.  
> Author's Notes: I'll leave you with something happy.

Tony startles as the bottle hits his chest, letting out a faint noise of surprise, eyes shooting up from the magazine he was reading to find Gibbs standing naked in front of him.  
  
“So you gonna show me how good it can be or what?”  
  
He glances down at the bottle of lube and tosses the magazine aside, rising fluidly to his feet and grabbing on to Gibbs with a grin. He kisses him thoroughly, running his hands over Gibbs’ back, shoulders and ass.  
  
Gibbs is solid under his touch, healthy again and looking it. He tastes like toothpaste and smells like soap and Tony presses his nose to Gibbs’ hair, breathing his scent in deeply.  
  
“Let me…” he crowds Gibbs back on to the bed and drops to his knees, taking Gibbs’ dick into his mouth, moaning with satisfaction as Gibbs groans.  
  
He tastes salty, earthy and clean. Tony swallows him down hungrily; every delicious, dark day fantasy could never live up to this one moment of reality.  
  
With fumbling fingers he reaches for the lube, slicking up his fingers and working Gibbs open carefully. He moans when he finds Gibbs already loose, already slick but he still takes the time to be extra sure. He wants this to be perfect. There are no more bad memories to cover up. This is just them, no ghosts haunting the bedroom tonight.  
  
The noises Gibbs is making, the sweet way his voice catches and trips in his throat, the soft gasps and the high, keening grunts are so hot that Tony almost rushes it but he manages to restrain himself. He keeps fingering Gibbs open, working at his hole until Gibbs is almost cumming from that alone.  
  
He’s beautiful with his head thrown back, long line of his neck exposed, skin glistening in the lamplight.  
  
Tony pulls out and off, stripping quickly as Gibbs licks his lips, breath still coming fast as his eyes slit open. He watches Tony, lust flickering in his gaze when he sees Tony’s erection.  
  
“Oh, yeah,” he smirks, quirking his head to the side.  
  
Tony smiles with amusement and mild disbelief, “Really?”  
  
“I’ve never looked at a man that way before you,” Gibbs admits, “But that’s a pretty nice dick.”  
  
That makes Tony laugh, putting his hands on his hips.  
  
“You think so, Gibbs?”  
  
Gibbs winks and nods, scooting further back onto the mattress and as if there was an invisible string between them, Tony immediately moves forward, grabbing up the lube as he goes. He slicks up his dick and pulls Gibbs’ ass into his lap as he leans up over him, going suddenly still.  
  
“What?” Gibbs asks gently.  
  
“I wish we’d just gotten this…like this…without the other shit.”  
  
“No point in wishing for things you can’t have, sweetheart.”  
  
He brings his legs up around Tony’s waist and arches his back a little, letting Tony know he’s ready. Tony nods and lines up, pushing in slowly. Gibbs’ eyes slide shut, face almost peaceful, body completely relaxed under Tony’s.  
  
“That’s good,” he says, voice low and gravelly.  
  
“I know,” Tony breathes, setting up a sweet, slow rhythm, “God, you’re so slick and loose. Can’t believe you prepared yourself for me.”  
  
“Wanted you in me. Wanted it to be you in my head…”  
  
Tony surges forward, claiming Gibbs’ lips, kissing him thoroughly.  
  
“I’m the only man who’s ever fucked you,” he all but growls, “and I’m the only one who’s ever going to make love to you.”  
  
“Yes,” Gibbs nods, planting his feet on the bed to meet Tony’s thrusts.  
  
“Look at me.”  
  
Gibbs’ eyes are hazy and unfocused but he locks that lusty gaze on Tony unfalteringly.  
  
“No other face in your mind, no other dick in your ass, no other hands on your body. You’re mine,” Tony sharpens his thrusts, “I’m the man who loves you.”  
  
“Love you too, baby.”  
  
Tony grins at that, breath coming fast like his hips as he nails Gibbs’ prostate over and over.  
  
“Cum for me,” he murmurs, “Come on.”  
  
Gibbs starts to stiffen and shake, mouth falling open as he clutches Tony closer, a long shaky moan rising up from his belly and out of his mouth. He cums in spurts all over his own stomach and chest, listening to Tony murmur his pleasure and approval. The aftershocks are drawn out by Tony’s continued thrusts occasionally ghosting over that electric spot until he’s being filled with Tony’s cum, a blossoming of heat inside him that makes Gibbs feel strangely satisfied.  
  
He hums, basking in that satisfaction as Tony collapses on top of him, smoothing his hands over Tony’s sweat-slick skin and keeping him close.  
  
Still trembling slightly, Tony pulls out and settles in the cradle of Gibbs’ hips, tilting his face up for a kiss.  
  
“As soon as you can get it up again,” Gibbs whispers against his lips, “I want you back in me.”  
  
“Mmm…” Tony moans, smiling and grimacing at once, “that might take a while. I’m not twenty anymore, Gibbs.”  
  
“Thank God,” Gibbs smirks.  
  
“Good thing you’re so patient,” Tony laughs.  
  
“Worth the wait.”  
  
They kiss until Tony mumbles something about sleep and they clumsily climb under the covers, Gibbs’ head on Tony’s chest, hand coming up to play with Tony’s hair and feeling good with Tony’s arms around him.  
  
“Sweet dreams,” Tony mutters.  
  
Gibbs smiles.   
  
Lately all of his dreams have been sweet.


End file.
